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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2015 8:18:11 GMT
I enjoy this thread.
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Post by apolloswill on Mar 22, 2015 20:59:05 GMT
"Ohhhh...for Nuffle's sake! He's got an arm off" - Ig "Stoneborn" Bazur, surprisingly after watching Bane "Terror of Amaxon" Nok, getting kicked to death, by a gang of Howlin' Prowlers, and then still able to get up, just less breathing. Howling werewolves circling the orcs, jumping in and out, clawing straight through the armor. Zombies at all fronts, closing in on the orcs, with only one agenda, to feed. With only death in their eyes, Wights was orchestrating the Prowlers relentless attacks on the Machinez. With a well-placed fist, Jolagh "Leg Ripper" Xagu, knocked the jaw off a zombie, but it did not stop for even a second, still coming at him. "Why", he said, kicking it in the groin, again to no avail, "won't you", grabbing the zombie's arms, ripping them off, as they were nothing more, than grapes on a vine, "stay down?". Even without arms and a missing jaw, it still, manage to push Jolagh in to another group of zombies. Jolagh took a firm grip around the fist of the arms, he had taken from the zombie, and used them as clubs, hitting the undead with the wet end of the limbs. But no matter, how hard he hit them, knocking them off their feet, they just stood back up, and kept going. "I told you so". A skinny orc, yelled from the spectator seating area, down to Apol. "I told you, it would be a massacre". Apol heard him, but didn't give the orc the pleasure of looking back at him. That skinny orc, had become a pain in the ass. What was his name? TuBa? Tu Pa? Who cared? Tu Pa, had started following Apol around, talking non-stop. About how to play to game. What the Green Mean Machinez should do in the next match. About formations and training, and he just kept going. Apol grimaced, and ejected a huge amount of spit. "Bane", he roared to the field, "get your ass in there, and take down that ghoul". Bane "Terror of Amaxon" Nok, looked at Apol, nodded, and in a quick blitz he went shoulder first in to Stinky, the ghoul and playmaker of the Howlin' Prowlers. As in a dance, Stinky, rolled with the hit, sending Bane straight in to the claws of a werewolf, and to the ground. Before any of the other orcs could come to his rescue, a sea of undead was piling on him, sending dust up in all directions. For a moment, the whole stadium was silent, while the fog of dust and dirt was settling. The fouling undead, slowly moved away from the motionless Bane, and single-minded continued looking for other orcs to take down. The Green Mean Machinez apothecary, snagged his bag of tools, getting ready to run to Bane. "I don't think you need to", Tu Pa yelled out, as a matter of fact, and he was correct. Bane started moving. Slowly getting to his feet. And than he stood up, as if nothing had happened, except he was down one arm, which was left behind in the sand of the field. Green blood was dripping from the shoulder, where his arm was suppose to be attached. Bane looked to Apol, his eyes looking apologetic.With a lot of effort, he manage to say; "I'm so sorr.....Brainsssss". "Now, if you have played a 5-2-4 position", Tu Pa, yelled to Apol "as I told you too, you would...", but before he was able to finish his sentence, Apol had grabbed him by his collar, and send him flying to the field. "Knockoff the Predictions, and fuckin' play instead", Apol snarled. And that was how it came to be, that Bane "Terror of Amaxon" Nok decided to join the Howlin' Prowlers, and replaced by Tu "Knockoff the Predictions" Pa. Green Mean Machinez vs Howlin' Prowlers Score: 1-2, Casualties: 4-2Inspiration for name of new player, and promotions for an awesome thread: K. Offebrand's Tin Cup Pregame[/p]
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2015 23:28:17 GMT
Yes!!! Love it. That "Knockoff the Predictions" sounds like a real pain in the ass Keep up the good work
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Post by apolloswill on Apr 1, 2015 1:24:09 GMT
"You can't handle the truth!"- Bandagh "Over the Mountain" Bar The team was celebrating in the camp of the Green Mean Machinez. They had just won against the chaos team Trucido, a game the surely was won more by Nuffle's blessing, than by skill and tactics. A lot of mead was going down, and chants and songs of Orc origin was heard from far away. Every orc was having a good time, after it had been announced they were going in to the play-off. Everyone except for Bandagh "Over the Mountain" Bar. Sitting away from the party in the shadows, finding small pebbles in the dirt and throwing them after the homeless and hungry dogs, that tried to sneak up to the meat table, to steal a bone or two. Apol noticed Bandagh. Clearly drunk and having a hard time keeping his balance, he smirked, and stumbled his way over to Bandagh's sanctuary. Apol: What you doing? Why you not celebrating? Bandagh didn't answer. Apol: You, "Over the Mountain", come drink with me. Still no answer. Apol: You of all should be happy we won. That is what you wanted, right? (laugh) Not a single casualty. Again. But you won. You should be celebrating, while I am sitting there, looking like a Skaven, that have just been told; "no more cheese". So answer me! What the hell is wrong with you? Bandagh: You want answers?Apol: I think I'm entitled to them. Bandagh (with a stern look): You want answers? Apol (angry and demanding): I want the truth! Bandagh: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Orc, we live on a field that has rules. And those rules have to be followed by players with skills. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Apol Willz? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for No Casualties and you curse the Mean Machinez. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that no casualties, while tragic, probably win games. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, win games...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at the tavern, you want me on that field. You need me on that field. We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent destroying everything. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a Orc who rises and sleeps drunk of the very gold I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a ball and stand at the skirmish line. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to! Apol (yelling): Do you want to leave? Bandagh: (quietly) I did the job you asked me to do. Apol (still yelling): Do you want to leave? Bandagh (yells back): You're goddamn right I do!! After the play-off I, and Sub "Elf Lover" Up, is going to find a team that actually can and will play Blood Bowl. Than silence. A brave dog, had crawled close to a table, but closer to Apol, who kicked it so hard, that before it hit the ground, it had lost consciences and all interest in finding food for the night. Apol (in a defeated voice): Very well. After the play-off, you can take your leave. I will even provide you with enough gold to find a team, that will do you honor. Know, that you will always have a spot on the Green Mean Machinez, if you ever change your mind. Green Mean Machinez vs Trucido Score: 1-0, Casualties: 1-0
And yes, this was an announcement for Bandagh's Boyz to enter the Tin league of season 11 Crippled Cup Stretcher, season 6. Perhaps it is time to find someone that fits my play style and hopefully start winning, because of skills, instead of just plain luck. <MORE TO COME LATER>
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Post by apolloswill on Apr 5, 2015 16:43:08 GMT
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Post by apolloswill on Apr 6, 2015 1:31:32 GMT
As in the Bandagh's Boyz thread, it have been found, that other of the Green Mean Machinez entries have been copied by actors, songs and movies. Those scoundrels.
I have decided, that the best way to handle this, is by showing it to the world. I believe that it is the only way to stop such infringements.
So in each of the entries, where I have found it somewhere else, even if changed a bit, I have provided a link within the entry. If this continues, oh, I will keep outing those...those...crooks, and give you all the links, so you can judge by yourself.
I'm sooo mad.
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Post by apolloswill on Apr 13, 2015 1:02:44 GMT
"The sun is out, feeling hot hot hot Sexy mamis, today you will feel hot hot hot" - Green Mean Machinez song, when entering the field, ready for the match against Disney Kickin' Ass
The play-off was up. This was doomed to be the Green Mean Machinez last fight of the season. There was no way, they could take down the team of "Disney Kickin Ass". Better players, better coach, more experience, more skills. Apol looked to each of his players. There had only been one way to win this match, and it died when Bane "Terror of the Amaxon" had been turned in to a zombie by the Howlin' Prowlers. No one on the team had the skill to tackle these amazons. It was just silence in the locker room. Than the bell rang. The team had to walk to the field, ready for a beat down and embaressement. They knew it. The bookers knew it. The amazon knew it. Apol shrugged his shoulders "alright band. Let's get this over with". Trilug "Two head Chopper" Purbag, opened the double doors to the field. For a second he just stood there, than he turned around, a wide smile on his tusk filled face. The light from the outside, moved around his massive body with out trouble, blinding the orcs in the room, and the heat from the sun wave, would have knocked anyone else to the ground. But they were Orcs. Raised on the hot field of the Badlands. The sun was their ally. Everything had just changed in to their favor. Those amazon, though from the land of the Amaxon, was still not used to this kind of heat. Most of them, would be knocked out, even before the match would begin. The Orcs started cheering, laughing and singing. Donk "Sneaky Bastard" Jonz, grabbed the green banner of the Green Mean Machinez, and ran out on the field, with the rest of the team right on his heels. All of them singing, while making mocking dance moves and signals to the Disney Kickin Ass team.
Green Mean Machinez vs Disney Kickin' Ass: 1-0, Casualties: 0-5 (but tons of K.O. on the amazon team due to heat)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2015 1:48:43 GMT
Do you have some manner of illegal weather wizard in your coaching staff? What dark forces are you colluding with Apol Swill?!? Congrats on your spectacular upset victory, which cost me a bundle in gambling winnings Excellent write up, that song will be stuck in my head all night hope to see the Machinez in Bronze Shield next season.
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Post by apolloswill on Apr 13, 2015 2:00:44 GMT
Do you have some manner of illegal weather wizard in your coaching staff? What dark forces are you colluding with Apol Swill?!? Congrats on your spectacular upset victory, which cost me a bundle in gambling winnings Excellent write up, that song will be stuck in my head all night hope to see the Machinez in Bronze Shield next season. "Weather Wizard? In Coaching staff?", Apol said, while looking around on his team. For seemingly no reason, the two black orcs, Prikdarok "Black Wall" Zog and Ig "Stoneborn" Bazur, pulls the new Blitzer, Sri "Windbreaker" Nif, to the ground, and Stoneborn, sits down on him, making Sri's body completely disappear under half of ton of Black Orc fat.
"Why you ask?" Apol continue like nothing happened. "Noooo. No weather wizard on the Green Mean Machinez. That would be cheating, right?"
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