Post by jordionboy on Aug 19, 2015 11:20:30 GMT
Nurgle sat by his pot focusing on his crystal ball, these new fangled things were good fun to watch, he wondered if his believers watched them. Then an idea hit him and he straightened up and cleared his throat.
"XINTHICALZLE!" He called. It didn't take too long but soon a thin, infected looking imp like humanoid poked his head round the colossal doorway.
"Yes Master Nurgle?" The voice asked, quivering with hope it wasn't something demeaning, which with Nurgle it often was.
Xinthicalzle was a rooted, motled being, not so wounded as most beings, but very much infested with the rot. He was slim and to other humanoids maybe around 6 foot tall.
Nurgle paused, thinking about his words carefully and smacked his lips. "you" he said simply "will . . . make a bloodbowl team FOR my amusement" He told his servant, there was no arguing with Nurgle when he got in this mood, not unless you wanted an extra twelve poxes and plagues.
Respectfully Xinthicalzle bowed, mostly to hide his face Bloodbowl?! the game of barbarians and slackers who could spend their time better serving the master Nurgle?! The idea was abhorrent to the creature, but not doing his master's bidding was more so. Without much more delay the impish creature backed away with a respectful "At once master Nurgle."
_____________
The day came and Xinthicalzle sat at a propped up cheap metal table, looking around the damp, rotting field they had set up, the fliers had gone out one month ago and now they had a long line of people, but only the leagues limit of 1,000,000 gold.
As Xinthicalzle looked over the line he dinged a small metal dinging chime and shouted "Next", just in case the person didn't understand the dinging, which he realised kind of defeated the point.
Quickly a rotter stepped up to the table silently, this didn't surprise Xinthicalzle much as the rot sometimes made it sore to speak. "So you are wanting to play?" he asked.
There was a nod.
"are you any good?"
A head shake.
"is there a reason you came?"
then Xinthicalzle realised he wished he'd never asked. "w'nt'd fr-" the pus went everywhere, even Xinthicalzle dived back from it and the rotter quickly closed his mouth.
"do that on our opponents and you're in" the daemon said calmly whipping himself off. The rotter nodded happily and shambled away.
The next three were uneventful apart from one's tongue falling out, which was good for a chuckle.
However the next player was a winner, and as he dragged away his friend from staring very clearly at a passing cheerleaders "fantastic luggage compartment" as the slightly shorter, thinner one put it.
"we're, we're here for the, uh, Sexpots." he started nudging the air with his elbow and winking.
The shorter one panicked a little "Eddie you'll frighten 'em off!" -he hushed, and put on a smile, which despite his mouth not being visable benieth the helmet was so oily the coach rubbed his hands and wiped them on a spare flyer out of habit.
"so you are?" Xinthicalzle asked the Nurgle warriors gently, afraid to scare these obviously clueless loosers away, they'd make good dwarf fodder.
the more forward one spoke first. "Well i'm Eddie Hitlar . . . no relation. and this is Rik, Rik Bottom"
"I didn't Choose it" Rik protested, weasily.
"No relation to who" Xinthicalzle asked genuinely curiously, leaning forward lightly.
"To anyone, to busy shagging for family" he said hips thrusting lewdly, a huge lump visible in his pants.
Xinthicalzle was caught of guard. "is that?" he asked, before catching himself.
"nah mate" Eddie said quickly, pulling out a severed elf hand. "I think it was a woman, second base" he said, offering his hands for coach to high five, but after a stunned silence he shrugged and turned to Rik, high Fiving him with the severed hand, which caused a mini freak out of "eaugh"'s and waving his had in the air from Rik while Eddie laughed.
Xinthicalzle was too polite to tell them it was a male wood elf's and so let the two go "You're in" He said catching Rik looking around then sticking the hand down his pants as they left.
The next four or five were not so interesting at least to the daemon till a rotter walking up.
"Am Grugg" it said, hand below the table.
"ah, Okay Grugg, we need rotters." Xinthicalzle said chirpily
"Can Grull come?" the rotter asked, showing why his hand was under the table, with great strength Grugg lifted a dead rotter carcass and dropped it on the table.
Xinthicalzle looked from the body to Grugg around four times then paused. "he can be a cheerleader." The daemon said tactfully. Leaving the happy Grugg to skip of, dragging the body behind, which's leg fell off as it was being dragged.
three more rotters came and went, each being accepted, but all being rather less interesting, turned out one knew the pus spewer though, who was "Gitt."
"na-" Xinthicalzle started, but the Nurgle Warrior was too quick for him. "Poleris Livintous my good man, I've wanted to play blood bowl for a long time, I've studied it extensively. I'm some what of an amateur Nuffleligeirist. Or for the lower caste [/i]Blood Bowler[/i]" He said calmly.
Xinthicalzle paused for a few moments. "congrats captain" he said simply.
Poleris smiled and nodded "I am very pleased to be given this opportunity, I believe I shall show how much this means by attacking the air in an upward direction." he smiled, fistpumping and turning away.
The next guy was a Pestigor, the only one of the day. "'ow's it goin' boy!" the Pestigor started before turning back to a rotter behind him. "Oy, wa'ch'u loo'in at?!" he growled as the rotter fell back in surprise. "yeah 's w'ot I f'oght"
"so, you're wanting to apply?" Xinthicalzle asked, less than impressed.
The Pestigor nodded. "Well mah mates, they sez I is Well 'ard, so i f'oght i'd play fo' n'gle, Fi'ht and show 'ow 'ard I is!" he explained.
Xinthicalzle nodded, another good meat shield. "name?"
"I is Skillard!"
"okay, you're in" Xinthicalzle said politely as Skillard threw his hands up in victory and walked off.
The last Nurgle warrior of the day was rather shifty, he walked calmly or what he though was calmly up to the bench and stood silent for a few moments. "m-m" it started.
"Are you okay?" Xinthicalzle asked, but the Nurgle warrior nodded. "okay, name?" Xinthicalzle asked.
"Wh-what's that?" The Nurgle warrior asked pointing off to the other side.
"a bleacher?"
"I Bl-bleacher" The warrior nodded, seemingly proud of himself.
"okay, you're in, we'll see how you do" Xinthicalzle said calmly.
The next guy was a foul beast of Nurgle, he brimmed with hope and confidence. "I'm Wormrick sir" he said, in a way that just made him sound like a little puppy.
"A beast of Nurgle eh?" Xinthicalzle asked as the beast nodded.
"'s right" He said smiling.
Xinthicalzle nodded and smiled. "everyone not chosen can go home, thank Nurgle for you all, we have a great team." the daemon smiled, walking away and indicating for Wormrick to follow him, he had a team. Not the best, but a team, not that he was any judge.
"So you're done Xinthicalzle? Its about time!" Nurgle shouted in his servant's head
"Yes master, now we just need to wait for some communication from other teams and we'll be playing in no time." Xinthicalzle answered.
"You expect Bloodbowlers to send letters?"
"No master, any form of communication before a match will be fine. We aren't that picky, but letters would be nice"
"Mmmm, very well, now, I need my sores cleaning, so if you'll excuse me. BREXIKLILLAS!"
"XINTHICALZLE!" He called. It didn't take too long but soon a thin, infected looking imp like humanoid poked his head round the colossal doorway.
"Yes Master Nurgle?" The voice asked, quivering with hope it wasn't something demeaning, which with Nurgle it often was.
Xinthicalzle was a rooted, motled being, not so wounded as most beings, but very much infested with the rot. He was slim and to other humanoids maybe around 6 foot tall.
Nurgle paused, thinking about his words carefully and smacked his lips. "you" he said simply "will . . . make a bloodbowl team FOR my amusement" He told his servant, there was no arguing with Nurgle when he got in this mood, not unless you wanted an extra twelve poxes and plagues.
Respectfully Xinthicalzle bowed, mostly to hide his face Bloodbowl?! the game of barbarians and slackers who could spend their time better serving the master Nurgle?! The idea was abhorrent to the creature, but not doing his master's bidding was more so. Without much more delay the impish creature backed away with a respectful "At once master Nurgle."
_____________
The day came and Xinthicalzle sat at a propped up cheap metal table, looking around the damp, rotting field they had set up, the fliers had gone out one month ago and now they had a long line of people, but only the leagues limit of 1,000,000 gold.
As Xinthicalzle looked over the line he dinged a small metal dinging chime and shouted "Next", just in case the person didn't understand the dinging, which he realised kind of defeated the point.
Quickly a rotter stepped up to the table silently, this didn't surprise Xinthicalzle much as the rot sometimes made it sore to speak. "So you are wanting to play?" he asked.
There was a nod.
"are you any good?"
A head shake.
"is there a reason you came?"
then Xinthicalzle realised he wished he'd never asked. "w'nt'd fr-" the pus went everywhere, even Xinthicalzle dived back from it and the rotter quickly closed his mouth.
"do that on our opponents and you're in" the daemon said calmly whipping himself off. The rotter nodded happily and shambled away.
The next three were uneventful apart from one's tongue falling out, which was good for a chuckle.
However the next player was a winner, and as he dragged away his friend from staring very clearly at a passing cheerleaders "fantastic luggage compartment" as the slightly shorter, thinner one put it.
"we're, we're here for the, uh, Sexpots." he started nudging the air with his elbow and winking.
The shorter one panicked a little "Eddie you'll frighten 'em off!" -he hushed, and put on a smile, which despite his mouth not being visable benieth the helmet was so oily the coach rubbed his hands and wiped them on a spare flyer out of habit.
"so you are?" Xinthicalzle asked the Nurgle warriors gently, afraid to scare these obviously clueless loosers away, they'd make good dwarf fodder.
the more forward one spoke first. "Well i'm Eddie Hitlar . . . no relation. and this is Rik, Rik Bottom"
"I didn't Choose it" Rik protested, weasily.
"No relation to who" Xinthicalzle asked genuinely curiously, leaning forward lightly.
"To anyone, to busy shagging for family" he said hips thrusting lewdly, a huge lump visible in his pants.
Xinthicalzle was caught of guard. "is that?" he asked, before catching himself.
"nah mate" Eddie said quickly, pulling out a severed elf hand. "I think it was a woman, second base" he said, offering his hands for coach to high five, but after a stunned silence he shrugged and turned to Rik, high Fiving him with the severed hand, which caused a mini freak out of "eaugh"'s and waving his had in the air from Rik while Eddie laughed.
Xinthicalzle was too polite to tell them it was a male wood elf's and so let the two go "You're in" He said catching Rik looking around then sticking the hand down his pants as they left.
The next four or five were not so interesting at least to the daemon till a rotter walking up.
"Am Grugg" it said, hand below the table.
"ah, Okay Grugg, we need rotters." Xinthicalzle said chirpily
"Can Grull come?" the rotter asked, showing why his hand was under the table, with great strength Grugg lifted a dead rotter carcass and dropped it on the table.
Xinthicalzle looked from the body to Grugg around four times then paused. "he can be a cheerleader." The daemon said tactfully. Leaving the happy Grugg to skip of, dragging the body behind, which's leg fell off as it was being dragged.
three more rotters came and went, each being accepted, but all being rather less interesting, turned out one knew the pus spewer though, who was "Gitt."
"na-" Xinthicalzle started, but the Nurgle Warrior was too quick for him. "Poleris Livintous my good man, I've wanted to play blood bowl for a long time, I've studied it extensively. I'm some what of an amateur Nuffleligeirist. Or for the lower caste [/i]Blood Bowler[/i]" He said calmly.
Xinthicalzle paused for a few moments. "congrats captain" he said simply.
Poleris smiled and nodded "I am very pleased to be given this opportunity, I believe I shall show how much this means by attacking the air in an upward direction." he smiled, fistpumping and turning away.
The next guy was a Pestigor, the only one of the day. "'ow's it goin' boy!" the Pestigor started before turning back to a rotter behind him. "Oy, wa'ch'u loo'in at?!" he growled as the rotter fell back in surprise. "yeah 's w'ot I f'oght"
"so, you're wanting to apply?" Xinthicalzle asked, less than impressed.
The Pestigor nodded. "Well mah mates, they sez I is Well 'ard, so i f'oght i'd play fo' n'gle, Fi'ht and show 'ow 'ard I is!" he explained.
Xinthicalzle nodded, another good meat shield. "name?"
"I is Skillard!"
"okay, you're in" Xinthicalzle said politely as Skillard threw his hands up in victory and walked off.
The last Nurgle warrior of the day was rather shifty, he walked calmly or what he though was calmly up to the bench and stood silent for a few moments. "m-m" it started.
"Are you okay?" Xinthicalzle asked, but the Nurgle warrior nodded. "okay, name?" Xinthicalzle asked.
"Wh-what's that?" The Nurgle warrior asked pointing off to the other side.
"a bleacher?"
"I Bl-bleacher" The warrior nodded, seemingly proud of himself.
"okay, you're in, we'll see how you do" Xinthicalzle said calmly.
The next guy was a foul beast of Nurgle, he brimmed with hope and confidence. "I'm Wormrick sir" he said, in a way that just made him sound like a little puppy.
"A beast of Nurgle eh?" Xinthicalzle asked as the beast nodded.
"'s right" He said smiling.
Xinthicalzle nodded and smiled. "everyone not chosen can go home, thank Nurgle for you all, we have a great team." the daemon smiled, walking away and indicating for Wormrick to follow him, he had a team. Not the best, but a team, not that he was any judge.
"So you're done Xinthicalzle? Its about time!" Nurgle shouted in his servant's head
"Yes master, now we just need to wait for some communication from other teams and we'll be playing in no time." Xinthicalzle answered.
"You expect Bloodbowlers to send letters?"
"No master, any form of communication before a match will be fine. We aren't that picky, but letters would be nice"
"Mmmm, very well, now, I need my sores cleaning, so if you'll excuse me. BREXIKLILLAS!"