Post by parrigan on May 8, 2018 13:40:32 GMT
So here we are again, kiddies! Playing some Copper, busting some heads, chucking some passes... probably chucking lots of passes by the look of these teams. That's right, kiddies! This place is rotten with elfies of all kinds, so get your smash on!
Death Counter: 0
The matchups:
Division 1
Quantum Quarks (DAE) v Spartan pride (CHA)
Ren Hoek v Optimus94
Wait, what? Elfies? Unthinkable! The Quarks are led by a shady hooded fellow by the name of Schrodinger, who offered this enigmatic comment: "Am I here, or am I not?" We'll get back to you on that one, fella. Sounds like typical elf malarkey. Meanwhile, the Spartans have several unpronounceable names and a guy called Worm. Sounds about right. On last check, they were raiding the stadium kitchen for oversized cookware and warbling a hideous song about something called "elf muffins." Sounds... appetizing.
Glass Cannons (NOR) v Undead Disco Party (NEC)
DocOz v Tencoin
Did I mention we also have a Norse invasion this season? Well, we do. The Glass Cannons apparently believe in truth in advertising more than they believe in wearing shirts. Yeah, we know you have pecs - sheesh! They apparently also don't believe speed matters, as they are operating without runners. When asked about this, packleader Aulver said, "RAAWWWRRRR!!!" Ok then. On the other side we have... a Disco Party. I guess what those zombies are doing *could* be called dancing... The music is loud in their locker room, and the lights are flashing, but I don't know many folks who want a piece of this party.
Sylvania Scion's (VAM) v Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE)
King Cann v Nightwind
Welcome to the land of misplaced apostrophes! Also more guys with very little armor. And more elves? No way! First up, we have the vamps of Sylvania and their many stooges. Led by two counts and a duke, these guys are all about noble blood. Get it? Blood? Because they're vampires? Ah, never mind. When asked about their upcoming match, Duke Maxwell complained, "Elves taste yucky. But we'll make do." There you have it, folks. Razor sharp focus. When asked to respond, Guardian wardancer Illidan simply laughed. "It's cute that they think they can catch us, isn't it?" Woodies!
Da Big Red Machine (ORC) v Baby Seal Clubbers (NOR)
bubs v Ravers
Orcs! Finally! Wait... there are orcs, right? Are they invisible? We searched high and low for someone to interview, but no one arrived. They're probably off in their orc lair making orc plans for dumbination - er, domination. Opposing these invisible orcs will be... more norsemen! That's right folks, two for the price of one in Division 1! Time to get your Norse on! Led by Ulf Captain Haddock, the Clubbers seem to be more traditional than their division mates, but there's something fishy about them... can't put my finger on it. They have runners, at least.
Division 2
Swarm Vermin (SKA) v Brighton Rock (DAE)
Parrigan Niall v vonKotze
Lookit that! Rats! It appears the delfs drew someone they can actually beat up. When asked about their plans for the season, the linerats responded in unison, "The swarm is all. All is the swarm." Ok, creepy... "They get like that," explained stormvermin Professor Killington. "It's why we took away their names." Hmm... not less creepy. It's sad when you look to dark elves to brighten the room, but here we are. And here they are, led by a runner with the unassuming name of Fred. But at least he got to keep his name. "Right," said Fred, "we're gonna win this one. Book it!" Confidence. Nice!
Khem Ragz (KHE) Deano79 v The Simpires (VAM)
Deano79 v Nails
The smell of tombs will be strong in this match. Hosting this one are the Ragz, the strongest (and dustiest) team this season. Those guardians are BIG, let me tell you. "We shall rule the pitch as we once ruled all..." wheezed Nun (seriously, dude's name is Nun, but he don't look like any nun I've ever seen). And maybe they will rule, if they can hold themselves together. Opposing them are some thoroughly disappointed vampires hailing from the lost empire of Springfield. "We have to play that?" complained Bart the vampire. "You can't get blood out of that! Ay Caramba!"
Easy Moders (HIE) v Elemental Unity (PRO)
comfort_eagle v Wenteros
And here we have more elves. Lots more elves... Coach Comfort, the great lover of elfies, should thoroughly enjoy this matchup. The Moders are ready to go, led by thrower HAVOL. "Coach loves us," said HAVOL. "We all sit by the campfire after practice and make s'mores and Coach Comfort tells us how wonderful we are. He's the best elf coach EVER." Wow. Just wow. Loves you so much he built *that* roster. Got it. On the other side of the pitch we find the Unity, who look like they're ready to mix it up. "What's wrong with those guys?" asks catcher Wind, pointing across the pitch. We don't know, Wind. We don't know.
It's a Trap! (LIZ) v The Beach Boyz III (NOR)
ThreeofClubs v Cryptic Keeper
And for our final match of week 1 we have lizards and... more norsemen! Sensing a theme here? Trap! is looking like a streamlined lizard team, no fat to trim here. They could use an apothecary and a krox, or maybe not. When asked about this, saurus Arrow Wall puffed up his chest. "Little skinkies have us to protect them. You smash skinky, we smash YOU!" Fair enough. Just watch out for those yhetee claws. Speaking of which, the Beach Boyz are looking to have a frothing good time. Not often you see that many wild eyes on the pitch. "Yeahhhh!!" shouted 'zerker Leonadro. "Let's do this, brah!" Nice energy.
For those who are new to the ways of IP, check our Code of Conduct: iron-phoenix.freeforums.net/thread/1/code-conduct Pretty standard stuff, really - please make note of our No Concession policy.
Anyway, enough of that business. Schedule those matches! Deadline for week 1 is 23.59GMT Wednesday, 16 May.
Death Counter: 0
The matchups:
Division 1
Quantum Quarks (DAE) v Spartan pride (CHA)
Ren Hoek v Optimus94
Wait, what? Elfies? Unthinkable! The Quarks are led by a shady hooded fellow by the name of Schrodinger, who offered this enigmatic comment: "Am I here, or am I not?" We'll get back to you on that one, fella. Sounds like typical elf malarkey. Meanwhile, the Spartans have several unpronounceable names and a guy called Worm. Sounds about right. On last check, they were raiding the stadium kitchen for oversized cookware and warbling a hideous song about something called "elf muffins." Sounds... appetizing.
Glass Cannons (NOR) v Undead Disco Party (NEC)
DocOz v Tencoin
Did I mention we also have a Norse invasion this season? Well, we do. The Glass Cannons apparently believe in truth in advertising more than they believe in wearing shirts. Yeah, we know you have pecs - sheesh! They apparently also don't believe speed matters, as they are operating without runners. When asked about this, packleader Aulver said, "RAAWWWRRRR!!!" Ok then. On the other side we have... a Disco Party. I guess what those zombies are doing *could* be called dancing... The music is loud in their locker room, and the lights are flashing, but I don't know many folks who want a piece of this party.
Sylvania Scion's (VAM) v Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE)
King Cann v Nightwind
Welcome to the land of misplaced apostrophes! Also more guys with very little armor. And more elves? No way! First up, we have the vamps of Sylvania and their many stooges. Led by two counts and a duke, these guys are all about noble blood. Get it? Blood? Because they're vampires? Ah, never mind. When asked about their upcoming match, Duke Maxwell complained, "Elves taste yucky. But we'll make do." There you have it, folks. Razor sharp focus. When asked to respond, Guardian wardancer Illidan simply laughed. "It's cute that they think they can catch us, isn't it?" Woodies!
Da Big Red Machine (ORC) v Baby Seal Clubbers (NOR)
bubs v Ravers
Orcs! Finally! Wait... there are orcs, right? Are they invisible? We searched high and low for someone to interview, but no one arrived. They're probably off in their orc lair making orc plans for dumbination - er, domination. Opposing these invisible orcs will be... more norsemen! That's right folks, two for the price of one in Division 1! Time to get your Norse on! Led by Ulf Captain Haddock, the Clubbers seem to be more traditional than their division mates, but there's something fishy about them... can't put my finger on it. They have runners, at least.
Division 2
Swarm Vermin (SKA) v Brighton Rock (DAE)
Parrigan Niall v vonKotze
Lookit that! Rats! It appears the delfs drew someone they can actually beat up. When asked about their plans for the season, the linerats responded in unison, "The swarm is all. All is the swarm." Ok, creepy... "They get like that," explained stormvermin Professor Killington. "It's why we took away their names." Hmm... not less creepy. It's sad when you look to dark elves to brighten the room, but here we are. And here they are, led by a runner with the unassuming name of Fred. But at least he got to keep his name. "Right," said Fred, "we're gonna win this one. Book it!" Confidence. Nice!
Khem Ragz (KHE) Deano79 v The Simpires (VAM)
Deano79 v Nails
The smell of tombs will be strong in this match. Hosting this one are the Ragz, the strongest (and dustiest) team this season. Those guardians are BIG, let me tell you. "We shall rule the pitch as we once ruled all..." wheezed Nun (seriously, dude's name is Nun, but he don't look like any nun I've ever seen). And maybe they will rule, if they can hold themselves together. Opposing them are some thoroughly disappointed vampires hailing from the lost empire of Springfield. "We have to play that?" complained Bart the vampire. "You can't get blood out of that! Ay Caramba!"
Easy Moders (HIE) v Elemental Unity (PRO)
comfort_eagle v Wenteros
And here we have more elves. Lots more elves... Coach Comfort, the great lover of elfies, should thoroughly enjoy this matchup. The Moders are ready to go, led by thrower HAVOL. "Coach loves us," said HAVOL. "We all sit by the campfire after practice and make s'mores and Coach Comfort tells us how wonderful we are. He's the best elf coach EVER." Wow. Just wow. Loves you so much he built *that* roster. Got it. On the other side of the pitch we find the Unity, who look like they're ready to mix it up. "What's wrong with those guys?" asks catcher Wind, pointing across the pitch. We don't know, Wind. We don't know.
It's a Trap! (LIZ) v The Beach Boyz III (NOR)
ThreeofClubs v Cryptic Keeper
And for our final match of week 1 we have lizards and... more norsemen! Sensing a theme here? Trap! is looking like a streamlined lizard team, no fat to trim here. They could use an apothecary and a krox, or maybe not. When asked about this, saurus Arrow Wall puffed up his chest. "Little skinkies have us to protect them. You smash skinky, we smash YOU!" Fair enough. Just watch out for those yhetee claws. Speaking of which, the Beach Boyz are looking to have a frothing good time. Not often you see that many wild eyes on the pitch. "Yeahhhh!!" shouted 'zerker Leonadro. "Let's do this, brah!" Nice energy.
For those who are new to the ways of IP, check our Code of Conduct: iron-phoenix.freeforums.net/thread/1/code-conduct Pretty standard stuff, really - please make note of our No Concession policy.
Anyway, enough of that business. Schedule those matches! Deadline for week 1 is 23.59GMT Wednesday, 16 May.