Post by Hudd on Feb 3, 2015 14:03:05 GMT
Howdy, sports fans! Once again we have another epic semi-final for you, this time in the Bronze Shield, featuring epic rivals Coach Hudd and his Vengeance of Khorne, versus Coach Hirumazeo and his Undead team, Tutankabron!
It's gonna be a classic, Jim. And we got special guests again! First of all, Ben 'Bones' Skeleton, legendary lineman for the Champions of Death - Over 500 games with over 100 casualties! What was your secret, Ben?
Fouling. I spent very little time on the pitch...
What do you think about today's game, Ben?
I can't say I am confident, Bob. Tutankabron are down to a bare-bones squad... Wait... Hahahahaha! Did you see what I did there?
Hmmm. Moving quickly onto our next guest, all the way from the 7th circle of Hades, let me introduce Binchminfin III! What do you think we will see in today's game, Binch?
Kindly address me by my correct name, or not at all, mortal! The Blood Thirster within the ranks of Vengeance, known as King Billy, is the most blessed of his kind. He will rip apart the deadlings that stand in his way, and claim a second title in Khorne's name, next week!
Sorry, Lord Binchminfin III. If you could burn a little less fiercly in the commentary box it would be much appreciated.
..
Kick-off time! Vengeance will receive!
Here comes King Billy, aiming straight for the opposition's superstar mummy, enormous claws glistening! Swipe! What a start! He has sliced that mummy in two!
But look, Bob. I don't think it is going to last, he will be back by half-time thanks to some necromantic shenanigans at the sideline.
What can Tutankabron do about that? BOOM! A fireball is what they can do. Say, is that Harry Potter in the stands, Jim?
Good call, Bob! Looks like a couple of cultists have got themselves knocked out too.
And here come the ghouls! They swarm all over the prone cultists and grab the ball. What's this? They have gone for the downfield punt!
Surprise move, Bob?
Well would you want the ball near King Billy?
Good point, well made. It's a race into the Vengeance backfield now, and the ghouls win it! Cultists flap at them repeatedly, but they will not go down. Tutankabron have got the ball, a lone ghoul racing away into the corner - looks like an easy defensive touchdown... Coach Hudd is not going to be happy with that.
Still quite a lot of time left in the half though, Jim.
But what is this? The Tutankabron ghoul appears to be stalling in the corner - despite having little-to-no help down there.
Just wasting a bit more time, Jim. Here comes the defence, he will just score now...
No! I don't believe it! The ghoul runs into the end-zone and then back out again! Arms flail and feet fly, but he is still on his feet, clutching the ball, and heading off to the other corner!
Hahaha! You gotta laugh at that... Having done the hard part, now he falls over, running too fast...
Amazing how often that happens, Bob!
Sure is, Jim! Now there is another scramble for the ball. Vengeance have it, now Tutankabron! Here comes King Billy as time runs out, he is going to swipe that ghoul into the middle of next week!
Nope - he has slipped too! Words will be had with the grounds staff, Bob.
As time runs out in the half, Tutankabron enter the end-zone, holding the ball aloft. Touchdown!
Well the big talking point of the half, is that decision to stall, by Coach Hirumazeo. What did you think, Bob?
I gotta say, I am scratching my head there, Jim. Ben 'Bones', what did you think?
Bob, the lights are on, but nobody's home. I never made it as a coach...
Lord Binchinminfin III?
Coach Hirumazeo has made this play in order to give the Vengeance knock-outs less time to get back up on their feet. Consider his chances of a touchdown to have been 90%. But given the time left in the half, Vengeance would have had say, a 50% chance to reply, and were virtually certain to have their full team available for the second half. This way, coach Hirumazeo reduces his chance of scoring to, say, 50%, but leaves no chance of a reply, along with there being every chance of Vengeance being at a numerical disadvantage in the second half, when the dead shall receive the ball. Testing all possible scenarios leads me to think that by increasing the odds of...
Apologies to butt in there, Lord Binchinminfin III, but the second half is about to kick-off. Are you saying it was some kind of genius move then?
No - Coach Hirumazeo was taking the piss. I will ensure he burns brightly when his soul descends to my circle. [In truth I have spent ages thinking about if this was a good move or not - I am still not sure!]
News coming in from the sidelines - it is a disaster for Vengeance. None of the players knocked out have got back up. It's going to be 8 vs 10 for the second half! But what's this? Vengeance have clearly started before the ball was kicked and have got to a short kick off first!
Looks like a lot of Undead caught on the wrong side of the pitch now, Bob! Game on!
I'm not too sure, Jim. King Billy is flailing at shadows or raging in frustration turn after turn. The ghouls have got the ball carrier down, and another couple of Vengeance players have gone down clutching their heads...
These guys should really wear more armour!
You are right there, Jim. I for one, am a bit sick of looking at them in their man-kinis.
Vengeance have stolen the ball again though, and have got all the way to just a few yards from the end-zone! Sooo close!
But King Billy is still raging about on the half-way line - I don't think they can do this without him.
You're right there, Bob. The ghouls converge on the poor cultist with the ball and then dance away with the ball. How are Vengeance going to get back into this one, with only 5 players standing?
Er, they're not, Jim. Still those Khorne players are going down with KOs. King Billy is now completely surrounded by Undead, he alone is not going down! In fact, despite being the attentions of six Tutankabron players, he manages to knock out a ghoul...
Bit late now, Bob.
You are right there, Jim - Coach Hirumazeo doesn't even bother to score another touchdown, and Tutankabron are going to the final! Any comments? Ben?
Easy win! I knew coach Hiru would do it!
How about you, Lord Binchminfin III. Feeling disappointed?
Today's loss lies squarely on the shoulders of King Billy. He flapped at ghouls with the effectuality of a halfling. He raged at the sky and forgot about the ball like a troll. His cloven feet skidded upon the ashen turf like a player needing 1 GFI into the end-zone, when there are no re-rolls left... When he returns to Hades, rest assured he will be stripped of his skills, and allocated toilet cleaning duties with the gluttons!
That's all folks!
It's gonna be a classic, Jim. And we got special guests again! First of all, Ben 'Bones' Skeleton, legendary lineman for the Champions of Death - Over 500 games with over 100 casualties! What was your secret, Ben?
Fouling. I spent very little time on the pitch...
What do you think about today's game, Ben?
I can't say I am confident, Bob. Tutankabron are down to a bare-bones squad... Wait... Hahahahaha! Did you see what I did there?
Hmmm. Moving quickly onto our next guest, all the way from the 7th circle of Hades, let me introduce Binchminfin III! What do you think we will see in today's game, Binch?
Kindly address me by my correct name, or not at all, mortal! The Blood Thirster within the ranks of Vengeance, known as King Billy, is the most blessed of his kind. He will rip apart the deadlings that stand in his way, and claim a second title in Khorne's name, next week!
Sorry, Lord Binchminfin III. If you could burn a little less fiercly in the commentary box it would be much appreciated.
..
Kick-off time! Vengeance will receive!
Here comes King Billy, aiming straight for the opposition's superstar mummy, enormous claws glistening! Swipe! What a start! He has sliced that mummy in two!
But look, Bob. I don't think it is going to last, he will be back by half-time thanks to some necromantic shenanigans at the sideline.
What can Tutankabron do about that? BOOM! A fireball is what they can do. Say, is that Harry Potter in the stands, Jim?
Good call, Bob! Looks like a couple of cultists have got themselves knocked out too.
And here come the ghouls! They swarm all over the prone cultists and grab the ball. What's this? They have gone for the downfield punt!
Surprise move, Bob?
Well would you want the ball near King Billy?
Good point, well made. It's a race into the Vengeance backfield now, and the ghouls win it! Cultists flap at them repeatedly, but they will not go down. Tutankabron have got the ball, a lone ghoul racing away into the corner - looks like an easy defensive touchdown... Coach Hudd is not going to be happy with that.
Still quite a lot of time left in the half though, Jim.
But what is this? The Tutankabron ghoul appears to be stalling in the corner - despite having little-to-no help down there.
Just wasting a bit more time, Jim. Here comes the defence, he will just score now...
No! I don't believe it! The ghoul runs into the end-zone and then back out again! Arms flail and feet fly, but he is still on his feet, clutching the ball, and heading off to the other corner!
Hahaha! You gotta laugh at that... Having done the hard part, now he falls over, running too fast...
Amazing how often that happens, Bob!
Sure is, Jim! Now there is another scramble for the ball. Vengeance have it, now Tutankabron! Here comes King Billy as time runs out, he is going to swipe that ghoul into the middle of next week!
Nope - he has slipped too! Words will be had with the grounds staff, Bob.
As time runs out in the half, Tutankabron enter the end-zone, holding the ball aloft. Touchdown!
Well the big talking point of the half, is that decision to stall, by Coach Hirumazeo. What did you think, Bob?
I gotta say, I am scratching my head there, Jim. Ben 'Bones', what did you think?
Bob, the lights are on, but nobody's home. I never made it as a coach...
Lord Binchinminfin III?
Coach Hirumazeo has made this play in order to give the Vengeance knock-outs less time to get back up on their feet. Consider his chances of a touchdown to have been 90%. But given the time left in the half, Vengeance would have had say, a 50% chance to reply, and were virtually certain to have their full team available for the second half. This way, coach Hirumazeo reduces his chance of scoring to, say, 50%, but leaves no chance of a reply, along with there being every chance of Vengeance being at a numerical disadvantage in the second half, when the dead shall receive the ball. Testing all possible scenarios leads me to think that by increasing the odds of...
Apologies to butt in there, Lord Binchinminfin III, but the second half is about to kick-off. Are you saying it was some kind of genius move then?
No - Coach Hirumazeo was taking the piss. I will ensure he burns brightly when his soul descends to my circle. [In truth I have spent ages thinking about if this was a good move or not - I am still not sure!]
News coming in from the sidelines - it is a disaster for Vengeance. None of the players knocked out have got back up. It's going to be 8 vs 10 for the second half! But what's this? Vengeance have clearly started before the ball was kicked and have got to a short kick off first!
Looks like a lot of Undead caught on the wrong side of the pitch now, Bob! Game on!
I'm not too sure, Jim. King Billy is flailing at shadows or raging in frustration turn after turn. The ghouls have got the ball carrier down, and another couple of Vengeance players have gone down clutching their heads...
These guys should really wear more armour!
You are right there, Jim. I for one, am a bit sick of looking at them in their man-kinis.
Vengeance have stolen the ball again though, and have got all the way to just a few yards from the end-zone! Sooo close!
But King Billy is still raging about on the half-way line - I don't think they can do this without him.
You're right there, Bob. The ghouls converge on the poor cultist with the ball and then dance away with the ball. How are Vengeance going to get back into this one, with only 5 players standing?
Er, they're not, Jim. Still those Khorne players are going down with KOs. King Billy is now completely surrounded by Undead, he alone is not going down! In fact, despite being the attentions of six Tutankabron players, he manages to knock out a ghoul...
Bit late now, Bob.
You are right there, Jim - Coach Hirumazeo doesn't even bother to score another touchdown, and Tutankabron are going to the final! Any comments? Ben?
Easy win! I knew coach Hiru would do it!
How about you, Lord Binchminfin III. Feeling disappointed?
Today's loss lies squarely on the shoulders of King Billy. He flapped at ghouls with the effectuality of a halfling. He raged at the sky and forgot about the ball like a troll. His cloven feet skidded upon the ashen turf like a player needing 1 GFI into the end-zone, when there are no re-rolls left... When he returns to Hades, rest assured he will be stripped of his skills, and allocated toilet cleaning duties with the gluttons!
That's all folks!