Match report - Semi-final - Hudd vs Deano!
Jan 30, 2015 14:18:19 GMT
Kaiser, havol, and 2 more like this
Post by Hudd on Jan 30, 2015 14:18:19 GMT
Howdy Sports fans! What a treat we got for you today! It's semi-final time in the Tin and Bones cup, Feygrim Executioners of Coach Hudd, vs The Manco Hunters of Coach Deano - A classic Elves vs Orcs contest. What do you think about that, Jim?
Oh, it's a big one all right, Bob! And what's more, we have special guests! Two all time legends, here in the studio with us - first of all let me introduce the legendary blitzer, Jordell Freshbreeze! Jordell, what do you think about the game today.?
Pah! Obviously the elves will win, the only question to be answered is how badly the orc scum will be humiliated.
Ho ho! Pithy as always, Jordell! Also in the studio is the orc legend, Varag Ghoul-Chewer! Varag, what have you got to say to that?
Who cares what squirrel f***cker says. Orcs kill all elves today!
Well... To the point too, I guess! Remember we got kids listening though, Varag...
And here come the teams! Just in time to stop our special guests having their own little blocking match, eh, Bob?
That's right Jim. The Elves have won the toss and are going to receive - here comes the kick! The orcs have set up quite centrally and the elves are off, running like lightening down the wing! The orcs attempt to shuffle across, and cut off the channel, but no... A feeble effort in truth, the Executioners have smashed into the end-zone already! Touchdown! Jordell?
[laughing] The easiest touchdown I have ever seen! Wakey wakey greenskins! Have you not played this game before?
It is going to be a long game for you, Chewer.
Pah - what do you know elf-shit. Your boys won't touch the ball again! World of pain for you now!
Well, Bob, it's 1-0 to the Executioners, and it's now their turn to kick off. Short kick - straight to an orc, and he catches it!
Solid stuff from both teams now, Jim! The orcs have the ball, caged and screened, slowly pushing their way forwards. There is still plenty of time left in the half. Meanwhile the woodies are dancing away, content to slow the orcs up for now.
That's right, Bob, the orcs are only getting the occasional hit in, but they are making them count! The half is half way done, and the orcs are building a body count lead, even if they are still behind on the score that matters...
Looks like coach Hudd has had enough, the woodies swoop! In comes Pereine leaping through the orc cage, trying to knock that ball loose! The orc juggles the ball, nearly drops it, but then catches it again - Wooo the elves are in trouble now, they have closed in, expecting to pop that ball loose, but are just going to be taking some serious whacks for their trouble!
Bam! Bam! That's a catcher out of the game with a smashed hand, Jim...
Hur, hur - no sex for you for a month, elf thing...
Quite so, Varag, but what's this? Pereine is still in the thick of it, and has just taken blocks from half-a-dozen orcs and avoided every one - she whirls through the crowd, ducking and weaving, staying close to the ball carrier. What a play!
Finally the dust settles and she smooths out her hair, reapplies her make-up and charges straight at the ball carrier once more.
Pity about the rest of the team though, Bob. Another couple of elves down with sore heads, there, but at least Feygrim are going to get another chance.
That's right Jim! All the elves need is just to get a guy next to the ball carrier and surely Pereine will pop that ball loose this time... Nooooo! I can't believe it! He has fallen over on the floor and the elves stand about in dismay! [snake eyes GFI]
And now they are going to take another round of beating, Bob. Smickity smack! Is anyone left standing? The orcs coast the ball forward and see out the half, before tieing the score! Touchdown!
Looking bleak for your boys, eh, Jordell?
Far from it. Only one elf out of the game, thanks to the attention of the lovely Bloodweiser Babe...
Hur, hur. Even your girl players seem to like her being there...
Indeed they do, Varag - she will most definitely be invited to our after-party celebrations! [3 KO rolls were 3's - saved by the Babe!]
Time for the second half, the elves to kick again, missing only their kicker, funnily enough, after all that beating...
Another short kick, it's ended up right on the line of scrimmage, under a black orc - hehe, he will never catch that...
Oh yes, he has, Bob! He looks as surprised as you do though!
Now that is going to take some getting hold of! Don't forget this is an overtime game, so the orcs are not going to need to worry about scoring quick!
The orcs begin their slow push forward, with a hulking black orc grabbing at the ball in the midst of it all. The woodies are not panicking though, it looks like they are targeting the big-hitting Sriva, with their frenzied wardancer, Jedore. Nothing is working for the elves, though - all she can do is push him to the sidelines.
Wooow, look at that though, Bob! An elf catcher finishes the job, blitzing him off the pitch. The crowd set about him and the woodies have evened up the body count! [-2D surf]
They will be well pleased to get Sriva off the pitch in this key drive.
Looks like the woodies are ready to make their move now - no point hanging about!
Pereine dances into the orc cage and pops that ball out! [strip ball, -2D again] The elves can't get to it though, its going to be a mighty scrum!
That's right, Jim - this is where the game is going to be decided!
Hur, hur! Smash time!
Yep, it looks that way, Varag. Two elves go down, but the orcs seem content to crowd the ball, rather than risk picking it up in a ruck.
So here come the elves! A couple of orcs are pushed out of the way, Pereine leaps into the forest of arms and legs, picks up the ball, and is off to the races, sprinting clear!
That could be it, Jim. If the elves can close the door and form a screen...
Woooo mama! Looks like they have fallen over trying to run a bit too fast again, Bob...
Don't worry, Pereine is on the ball. She will never go down...
Hur, hur, Freshbreeze, sure you know all about that...
Here comes the orc block - nope! Pereine dances away with ease! But she is pushed towards another orc, smash! Pereine is on the floor and the ball scatters free.
The elves are going to try and push the orcs away again - Whoops! 3 elves on 1 orc, but it's the elf lineman who ends up on the deck, and the elves stand about in disarray once more.
Hur, hur. Cheer up, Freshbreeze. At least you not on pitch.
It's looking bleak now. Overtime is here, the orc thrower has picked up the ball, and it's 10 vs 6. No chance for the elves!
But those elf dancers are not giving up. Jedore is surrounded by orcs, but is going to hit the ball carrier anyway! A push! right on the sidelines now! If the orc goes out of bounds this ball could end up anywhere, and it could just be anyone's game again!
Nope - but that is one mighty relived looking orc there - it was a block too far I think! [Frenzy blitz, both -2D, needing two pushes to get ball carrier off pitch!]
Still they are not giving up - the orc thrower moves down the pitch, and gets hit again and again, but is not giving up that ball.
That's right, Jim. This guy is a bit better at keeping hold of the ball than the others. And the elves keep dropping like flies... 10 vs 4 is it now?
Sure is, Bob. Finally, inevitably, the ball rolls over the line, and the orcs celebrate whilst the elves slink off to nurse their bruises. The Manco Hunters are going to the final! What a great game! What you got to say about it, Varag?
Arrogant elf scum! Tonight we feast on your flesh!
Quite so, Varag. Any words of consolation, Jordell? Jordell??
I think he has already left with the Bloodweiser Babe, Jim...
Oh, it's a big one all right, Bob! And what's more, we have special guests! Two all time legends, here in the studio with us - first of all let me introduce the legendary blitzer, Jordell Freshbreeze! Jordell, what do you think about the game today.?
Pah! Obviously the elves will win, the only question to be answered is how badly the orc scum will be humiliated.
Ho ho! Pithy as always, Jordell! Also in the studio is the orc legend, Varag Ghoul-Chewer! Varag, what have you got to say to that?
Who cares what squirrel f***cker says. Orcs kill all elves today!
Well... To the point too, I guess! Remember we got kids listening though, Varag...
And here come the teams! Just in time to stop our special guests having their own little blocking match, eh, Bob?
That's right Jim. The Elves have won the toss and are going to receive - here comes the kick! The orcs have set up quite centrally and the elves are off, running like lightening down the wing! The orcs attempt to shuffle across, and cut off the channel, but no... A feeble effort in truth, the Executioners have smashed into the end-zone already! Touchdown! Jordell?
[laughing] The easiest touchdown I have ever seen! Wakey wakey greenskins! Have you not played this game before?
It is going to be a long game for you, Chewer.
Pah - what do you know elf-shit. Your boys won't touch the ball again! World of pain for you now!
Well, Bob, it's 1-0 to the Executioners, and it's now their turn to kick off. Short kick - straight to an orc, and he catches it!
Solid stuff from both teams now, Jim! The orcs have the ball, caged and screened, slowly pushing their way forwards. There is still plenty of time left in the half. Meanwhile the woodies are dancing away, content to slow the orcs up for now.
That's right, Bob, the orcs are only getting the occasional hit in, but they are making them count! The half is half way done, and the orcs are building a body count lead, even if they are still behind on the score that matters...
Looks like coach Hudd has had enough, the woodies swoop! In comes Pereine leaping through the orc cage, trying to knock that ball loose! The orc juggles the ball, nearly drops it, but then catches it again - Wooo the elves are in trouble now, they have closed in, expecting to pop that ball loose, but are just going to be taking some serious whacks for their trouble!
Bam! Bam! That's a catcher out of the game with a smashed hand, Jim...
Hur, hur - no sex for you for a month, elf thing...
Quite so, Varag, but what's this? Pereine is still in the thick of it, and has just taken blocks from half-a-dozen orcs and avoided every one - she whirls through the crowd, ducking and weaving, staying close to the ball carrier. What a play!
Finally the dust settles and she smooths out her hair, reapplies her make-up and charges straight at the ball carrier once more.
Pity about the rest of the team though, Bob. Another couple of elves down with sore heads, there, but at least Feygrim are going to get another chance.
That's right Jim! All the elves need is just to get a guy next to the ball carrier and surely Pereine will pop that ball loose this time... Nooooo! I can't believe it! He has fallen over on the floor and the elves stand about in dismay! [snake eyes GFI]
And now they are going to take another round of beating, Bob. Smickity smack! Is anyone left standing? The orcs coast the ball forward and see out the half, before tieing the score! Touchdown!
Looking bleak for your boys, eh, Jordell?
Far from it. Only one elf out of the game, thanks to the attention of the lovely Bloodweiser Babe...
Hur, hur. Even your girl players seem to like her being there...
Indeed they do, Varag - she will most definitely be invited to our after-party celebrations! [3 KO rolls were 3's - saved by the Babe!]
Time for the second half, the elves to kick again, missing only their kicker, funnily enough, after all that beating...
Another short kick, it's ended up right on the line of scrimmage, under a black orc - hehe, he will never catch that...
Oh yes, he has, Bob! He looks as surprised as you do though!
Now that is going to take some getting hold of! Don't forget this is an overtime game, so the orcs are not going to need to worry about scoring quick!
The orcs begin their slow push forward, with a hulking black orc grabbing at the ball in the midst of it all. The woodies are not panicking though, it looks like they are targeting the big-hitting Sriva, with their frenzied wardancer, Jedore. Nothing is working for the elves, though - all she can do is push him to the sidelines.
Wooow, look at that though, Bob! An elf catcher finishes the job, blitzing him off the pitch. The crowd set about him and the woodies have evened up the body count! [-2D surf]
They will be well pleased to get Sriva off the pitch in this key drive.
Looks like the woodies are ready to make their move now - no point hanging about!
Pereine dances into the orc cage and pops that ball out! [strip ball, -2D again] The elves can't get to it though, its going to be a mighty scrum!
That's right, Jim - this is where the game is going to be decided!
Hur, hur! Smash time!
Yep, it looks that way, Varag. Two elves go down, but the orcs seem content to crowd the ball, rather than risk picking it up in a ruck.
So here come the elves! A couple of orcs are pushed out of the way, Pereine leaps into the forest of arms and legs, picks up the ball, and is off to the races, sprinting clear!
That could be it, Jim. If the elves can close the door and form a screen...
Woooo mama! Looks like they have fallen over trying to run a bit too fast again, Bob...
Don't worry, Pereine is on the ball. She will never go down...
Hur, hur, Freshbreeze, sure you know all about that...
Here comes the orc block - nope! Pereine dances away with ease! But she is pushed towards another orc, smash! Pereine is on the floor and the ball scatters free.
The elves are going to try and push the orcs away again - Whoops! 3 elves on 1 orc, but it's the elf lineman who ends up on the deck, and the elves stand about in disarray once more.
Hur, hur. Cheer up, Freshbreeze. At least you not on pitch.
It's looking bleak now. Overtime is here, the orc thrower has picked up the ball, and it's 10 vs 6. No chance for the elves!
But those elf dancers are not giving up. Jedore is surrounded by orcs, but is going to hit the ball carrier anyway! A push! right on the sidelines now! If the orc goes out of bounds this ball could end up anywhere, and it could just be anyone's game again!
Nope - but that is one mighty relived looking orc there - it was a block too far I think! [Frenzy blitz, both -2D, needing two pushes to get ball carrier off pitch!]
Still they are not giving up - the orc thrower moves down the pitch, and gets hit again and again, but is not giving up that ball.
That's right, Jim. This guy is a bit better at keeping hold of the ball than the others. And the elves keep dropping like flies... 10 vs 4 is it now?
Sure is, Bob. Finally, inevitably, the ball rolls over the line, and the orcs celebrate whilst the elves slink off to nurse their bruises. The Manco Hunters are going to the final! What a great game! What you got to say about it, Varag?
Arrogant elf scum! Tonight we feast on your flesh!
Quite so, Varag. Any words of consolation, Jordell? Jordell??
I think he has already left with the Bloodweiser Babe, Jim...