*couple of quick points. I've had a couple messages telling me not to out the mercenary if I do know who he is. Even if I find out I won't, simply out of respect for someone else's character/creation. I've always been into tabletop rpgs and larping, and know how important characters are. NO disrespect or interference is meant, this is just a fun story that was inspired by this character, the writiings of another BB player called Thsin, and a very stoned night chatting about Jim Butcher books and Blood Bowl with a friend. It's more to give me incentive to chart the development of my team, learn to maybe use, play and develop them better...and hey, just because I find writing fun, be it for myself or others.
If you want to join in and write something yourself, particularly people my team (Better Than Dwarves) play against, please please feel free, I'd love this to become a really good read and input can only help. Criticism is obviously welcome too, and if for some reason I cross some line, or say something I shouldnt, feel free Admins to delete/edit my post or inform me and I will rectify it. I am REALLY enjoying both this team and the writing and want it to continue, but in the right manner
Final point-Mercenary-I'm coming for you and no bounty will be high enough to stop my elves.*
Scene: The office of Squiggy Mcsquigginton, several hours after the game Better Than Dwarves vs Fatkidsalwaywinatseesaw.
Well, something tells me things are about to get a lot more complicated. This morning, things were looking pretty good, my team sitting on a 2-1-0 record with the draw being an unfortunate fumblefest against underworld, the teams training starting to pay off, and no real injuries to speak of. Then today everything's been turned upside down. A defeat to a bunch of hairy shortarses, two dead players...not that those bums will be missed, any elf dumb enough to get tackled twice by a hobgoblin or stand next to thousands of hooligans and forget there's a game on deserves everything they get...but thanks to some scumbag scarpering with most of the game purse we can't even replace those bums with other bums. And this mercenary fella making sure that there's a big juicy target on every one of my boys heads. That May not have been my smartest move, this guy may be a coward, but he's a rich coward, and there are far too many people willing to "arrange" an accident for gold in this league.
Not much I can do about the defeat. Despatched one of my boys to follow up a lead on the missing money, now it's time to deal with the bigger problem...or two. She should be here any minute...
*a whisper of wind blows through the office, yet there are no doors open or Windows anywhere. A tap on the shoulder makes Squiggy spin around and reach for his dagger, only to see a glamorous, barely dressed female elf idly running its blade across her palm*
"How in the nine hells do you do that?"
The elf maintains an air of injured innocence. "Do what? You summoned me, I'm here. Catch" suddenly my knife is heading towards my throat! I dive to the floor, it whistles just above where I would have been standing...of course she threw to miss...didn't she?
"Enough! You know why you're here, and I know what you want. Now, what have you discovered?"
"You're no fun tonight" pouts the elf, still with that Damned demeaning smirk on her face. "All business and no fun? I guess those dwarves hurt more than your team"
I snarl, reach once again for my knife, then check myself. Not a smart move. I may be an ex player, I may know how to handle myself in a fight, but this is Malice Greyheart, witch elf and trained investigator as well as an elf with the finest ass and the shortest fuse this side of a drunk wardancer. No point pissing her off, especially with no idea yet on her mission's success.
"C'mon malice, plenty of time for your fun and games later. What's the story?"
"You were right" she grins, suddenly all business. "There's a warehouse in Tilea running yet another illegal bookies, but it's the only one I've seen with Brettonian security. Couldn't crack the lock, and you know what that means. Dwarven artificer."
I nod. "I expected as much. This guy is rich with a capital R. See anything else?"
"Oh yes...but first, there is my ... Payment."
This is the part I've been dreading. People like her don't want to be paid in gold. They're only interested in three things. Blood, amusement and glory. And malice has never been one for glory. I gesture towards the corner of my room, where an elf with a fractured skull rests on the couch, drugged to the eyeballs.
She raises an eyebrow. "So you're going to give up one of your own? Maybe you really can learn to be ruthless enough to survive this league."
"The idiot was dumb enough to run right into a gangfoul. On top of that he screwed up. Twice. Lost us the game, and even if I were to forgive that, he ain't going to be fit to take the field again til it's too late. He's not one of mine any more" I shrug. "He's yours now, just don't make a mess in here"
"Oh I wouldn't dream of it" Malice purrs. Besides, it tastes so much nicer...fresh..."
I repress a shudder. Can't show weakness. Not to her, not now.
"So, that's half my side of the bargain upheld. Now, what did you see?"
"Three things" she states, suddenly all business. "First off, that lock is definitely dwarven, and not only that, it's motion sensitive. You're not getting past it, and neither am I. Secondly, three coaches from the region were seen leaving. And only one of them looked happy. Saw Rocketdeath leaving looking mighty angry, turns out there's a hit out on his boys too, so it sure isn't him. Not even he is crazy enough to put out a no questions asked contract on his own team"
"Agreed. I'm hoping he can be of use to us, or at least be persuaded to stay out the way. The other two?"
"Manco was seen leaving, looking pretty Damn pleased. Followed him, thinking it might be a lead. Turned out he was just collecting a bounty and heading to the nearest tavern to celebrate. He was boasting about his winnings, and singing the praises of this mercenary to anyone who would listen."
"Makes sense. He's a ruthless bastard, but he's honourable. If he wanted someone dead he'd just fight em. Good to know though, we can cross him off the list. And the third?"
She frowns. "Bit of a strange one. Waited all night, and last thing before dawn, short fellow comes out. Didn't say a word, but he had heavy, heavy security. Not the type I'd mess with."
Wow. Malice is not the type to say something like that. Never seen her lose a fair fight, and she rarely gives people that much of a chance. This guy must be toting some serious backup. Course, we know he has the money to hire whoever the Hell he likes. I sit, silent, contemplating my next move. Suddenly, Malice interrupts.
"There was one other thing. This dwarf was dressed strangely. You know what beards are usually like. Chainmail, jerkins, axes, bad breath. Not this one. Dressed more like a dancer..."
I sit bolt upright. "No...it couldn't be...Deano? The Hell was he doing in Tilea? He's playing us this week, here...Wait." I rummage through the schedules. Sure enough, one of the teams he coaches is in Tilea. A team with a suspicious amount of Bretonnian players. And more gold than any team has any right to. Could be a coincidence, but I haven't lived this long relying on 'could be' have I?
"Tell me you followed him. Where did he go?"
Malice shrugs. "Not what you hired me for. Of course, we could always renegotiate..."
I wave away her offer. God knows what she would want this time. "No need. Two coaches crossed off the list, one to put under surveillance. It's a start. I'll find this Damn Mercenary yet."
Malice smiles. "And now, I have a proposition for You. It seems that your team has a couple of vacancies...and one more in about an hour...you want an investigator. You need someone with more than half a brain to help your team recover after their pathetic showing tonight. And I...well, I'm bored. Ever seen a witch elf on a blood bowl field?"
Holy crap. Yes, yes I have. Easy tiger, don't show her weakness.
"You ever played?"
"Not in the format you lot play. But you've seen The Arena in Naggaroth. Five against Five with an exploding ball a a trapped field?" I nod. "How does a witch elf, with a record of twenty six games unbeaten, and never hit by a trap, sound? Half your team cannot dodge a hobgoblin."
I'm impressed. The unbeaten record in fivebomb is thirty, and that poor bastard lost an arm, an eye, three toes and his mind. "Sounds like a player. Ok, you're in, but with two conditions"
Malice frowns. "go on..."
"One. Nobody ever heard about anything that was said here"
"Thats not a condition, that's stating the bloody obvious" she grins. "Two?"
"You won't be playing the next game.We're up against Nurgle Nation, and guess who's coaching them? Deano. And there's no way in hell I want him to see you associated with this team right now. You'll be on your way to watch a certain dwarf dancer's team playing in another league, something called The Forrum Oppun League. I told you I think the mercenary is a player, and tonight I think we narrowed down the team. Observe the next game played by The Kings Of Lyonesse and report back for game six."
I turn around to hear Malice's answer. No-one there, not even the poor sap on the couch. she lifted a drugged, armoured, hundred and sixty pound blitzelf, opened the door, and left, without me noticing? That is a potential player...