Post by michaels on Oct 11, 2015 16:51:07 GMT
Oct 11, 2015 17:08:58 GMT hdawg said:
Hello and welcome back, sports fans! This is Channel-H News and week three of the Iron Phoenix Tin Cup is under way. The wounded have been carted off on stretchers and the head coaches are eager to get their teams back out onto a Blood Bowl pitch. The results from round 2 are in and we’ll fill you in on our upcoming matches at the same time! (Apolloswill) Phoenix Gladiators vs (insidious) House Zauvirr
Apolloswill and his team, The Phoenix Gladiators, are coming off a loss against Kaiser’s Seahawks. A 2-1 result is always a tough pill to swallow. Though they were out-muscled by their foes, they remain keen to prove once and for all that they can out-dodge head coach Insidious’ Dark Elf players of House Zauvirr. There’s no love lost between these point-eared prancers and Insidious must have his hands full trying to control his players’ blood lust.
House Zauvirr was able to squeeze out a win against Mercy Flush’s High Elf team, but they’re still short on their roster. They’re down two players even after head Coach Insidious opted to put some of their winnings towards a new prospective lineman in an attempt to start refilling their bench. Is this going to hinder the Dark Elves ability to stay in this match, or are some Journeymen fill ins going to be enough to mesh with the head coach’s game plan? We couldn’t get him for an interview so instead we opted to get our goblin on the ground, JJ Johnson to interview The Phoenix’s head coach, Apolloswill.
JJ- “Hey there, Apollo! So, like, what’re your thoughts about these dark elfy types yer gonna be facing? You figure they’ve got a shot against your woodsy sprites or is this going to be an easy first victory for your team?”
Apolloswill- “The darkelfs are the reason why we travelled to the Tin Cup"
JJ- “You don't say? Got some beef, do ya?"
Apolloswill- “My sister Moonshine, dated one of those bastards. I think she got in to all that after reading this ‘50 shades of dark elf’ ”
JJ- “Ahhh, say no more, buddy! Ouch.... Anyways, Word has it you haven’t got a full bench, but you’re sitting on some cash. Any plans to add an 11th member back to the roster or are you perhaps saving up funds for a thrower?"
Apolloswill- “Going to look around for a bit, but really looking for a thrower that can establish some leadership. We need leadership on our team. So often it seem we are failing an important move, with no chance to get a do over, if you know what I mean?"
JJ- “I hear ya! Those linemen can only get you so far, but surely speedy Titus Crestseeker is a natural born leader? He was nearly the difference between that close loss you suffered at the hands of the Kaiser and his Seahawks."
Apolloswill- “Yes..not certain where he learned that speed from. Perhaps he got knocked around so much, that he have decided to get away from danger a bit quicker. Of course I, as the great coach I am, will try to take advantage of that."
JJ- “There are still murmerings from certain groups about the mysterious disappearance of the ENTIRE Badland Suns orc team. Any worries about assassins sent to the locker room?"
Apolloswill- “Have not heard about that yet. Did anyone tell them about me? If so, I assume, they just tucked their tusks between their arses and took off! I know...we haven't won yet, but it is part of our plan. Soon they will find how amazing we are."
JJ- “Lull them into a false sense of security? Smart!"
Apolloswill- “Yes, exactly. You are rather smart. You have a bit of elf blood in you?"
JJ- “My uncle was a Black Orc, on my mother's side. He loved eating elves. Maybe some of it passed on down!"
Apolloswill- “Those must have been 'high' elfs, not REAL elfs."
JJ- “Oho, zing! All right, last question. We see Marullus Greatrun has a fair bit of experience on the team so far, earning himself a pair of injuries dealt to the House of Eagles in game one, and being named MVP in your game two. Can you give us an exclusive scoop? Any plans on his development within the team?"
Apolloswill- “Not as of yet, but was looking a bit on some of the moves the brets had. Wrestling seemed effective. But nothing is carved in to the tree yet. If we were fighting orcs next time, for sure, he was to develop his kick, but against dark elfs, I don't think it will matter much."
JJ- “Thanks again, coach! That’s all the time we’ve got, we’ll send you back up to the desk now and hope for more interviews in the future!"
Apolloswill- “Take care now, and a last advice to you. Put your money on the Phoenix Gladiators, because what we do in life echoes an eternity."
JJ- “Hehe, alright but, I'll quote you on that! This is JJ, signing out!”
Well, they have confidence, that’s for sure! Let’s see if that translates into points on the scoreboard or if Insidious can rally his Dark Elves and secure his second win. Both teams could use the money and experience so we expect this is going to be a hard fought match on both sides!
The Bottom Line? Phoenix Gladiators are going to have to rely heavily on the leadership of Titus Crestseeker and Kaeso Titanchaser to come up big. The team’s war dancers and treeman, Maximus Hornbeam, are the stars this team is built around and if they don’t have a good showing or if they’re injured early it could spell disaster for this fledgling team. From Head Coach Insidious’ point of view, with no experienced players(having lost his MVP for game two to a journeyman elf called Avdar), only two blitzers and a runner with no other positionals to speak of, and still forced to field two journeymen dark elves, he’s going to need the rest of his team to step up to the plate and save the day. Any one of them has the potential to be an MVP and the time to distinguish themselves is now. They’ve already managed to win against one of their rival elf teams short manned, the question is, can they do it again?
(Mercy Flush) Lord Pompington [& Staff] vs (Michaels) Suk Monkeys
Next up, Head Coach Mercy Flush’s High Elf team, Lord Pompington [& Staff], must stand their ground against the Suk Monkeys. They’re a chaos team to watch out for and Head Coach Michaels isn’t going to give Mercy any breaks. Unless they’re armor breaks...hehe. These furry goats are one of the mid-range teams with a record of 1-1 but they’re proving to be absolute scoring machines. They walloped the Shire Reeves in round two, with a convincing three TD’s to their zero, denying them little more than 12% ball possession. Though Michaels is only going to be able to field one Chaos Warrior, the Suk Monkeys have Kongog as their secret weapon and the angry Minotaur is poised to crush a few High Elf skulls. Securing a second win here would put them into the top half of the Tin Cup so these Beastmen are going to be hungry for a victory!
Lord Pompington has drawn personal funds from his own estate to keep this team roster afloat and in running order, but the team is officially broke! He’s already suffered one death and several casualties at the hands of house Zauvirr and without his apothecary on payroll it would have been two fatalities last match. How can he hope to keep this going without 11 players? He needs a win to get back into this tournament or a game that’s relatively low on injuries, but that’s going to be hard to do with a Chaos team across the pitch and a squad of nine Beastmen barrelling down on them. Those horns are almost as bad as claws!
The Bottom Line? These Chaos haven’t got a dedicated ball carrier yet and as such they might struggle to pick up the ball. If you’re Head Coach Mercy Flush, you’ve got to stop cages from forming early, get in his face, and hope to Nuffle your line can dodge away from that Minotaur. If you can scoop up a loose ball from a scrum of players a break away + throw could easily secure an early touchdown. If you’re in Head Coach Michaels’ shoes you just stick to what’s worked for you in the past. The bash game. Smash down those brittle elves, cage up, and keep Konog in a packed cluster of opponents so he has no shortage of foes to bash. Given the choice, he’ll want to get Wartigor, Myly Muzzle, or Crazly Claw to score a touchdown to get them some much needed game experience and if a throw is necessary Gnarzy Hide and Ulgor seem good candidates.
(Jordinoboy) Shire Reeves vs (Cerumol) House of Eagles
Our third pairing is Head Coach Jordinoboy’s Shire Reeves locked in a mirror match against fellow Brettonians of The House of Eagles. Head Coach Cerumol has won both his games thusfar, proving in his mind that he’s got the dominant Brettonian team in the cup, but Jordinoboy isn’t convinced. When asked for a comment on the matter, he said, "Well, given his record he may be the best bloodbowl coach, but we fear no one. We play not for the glory but to show the brave skills of our men and women protecting the streets of the old world. he won't find us easy prey. Hear the long arm of the law." Say's Commander J.Varrier, Junior leader of the Shire reeve's forces and coach of the team due to his good head for tactics and mathematics
As far as he’s concerned, unless Cerumol can pull off a win here now against a fellow Brettonian team he can hardly be crowned the top Brett coach. I’m also sure the Fish Knights and Gorland Monarch’s head coaches would both have similar answers to Jordinoboy’s.
All the same, this is going to be an interesting match. Both lines are going to have fend in the mix, keeping distance, and with wrestle in abundance mixed with regular blocks made, we could have more people on the deck than standing. This is all going to come down to a war of Blitzers and on that front, Cerumol has the distinct advantage that will give him the edge to try and close this game out. Word on the ground from JJ’s scouting teams is Cerumol has two blitzers he’s been training extensively. What skills they’re going to have coming into round three is anyone’s guess, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if we see one of them practice picking up the ball extensively and a second stepping forward as team leader. To make matters worse, they have an extra Linemen in reserve in case of in-game injuries or knock outs.
It’s an uphill battle for Jordinoboy, there can be no doubt, as he also is without an apothecary and Nuffle knows that Cerumol is going to have his standing by in the odd chance they’re needed to prevent a major injury or death. The good news is...ummm. Nope, we really can’t think of anything. There’s definitely a bit of an underdog vibe going here, at least on paper.
The Bottom Line? This game is Cerumol’s to win. He’s got the numbers, he’s got the staff, and he’ll have the skills to maintain that advantage. If you’re Jordinoboy you’re faced with the very real possibility that you might need to consider some alternative strategies or play an early /aggressive bash game in the hopes of knocking out Cerumol’s star blitzers. If he can succeed in delaying a drive, while also getting a few of the House of Eagles key positionals isolated and surfed into the crowd, he should be able to turn this around. With less players of his own to field it might seem risky for Jordinoboy to foul, but desperate times call for desperate measures. That said, who knows if the crowd will get involved, or if it’s going to be rainy, or maybe the gyrocopter will crash again! Only time (and Nuffle) will tell! Good luck to both Brettonians out there on the field!
(ThreeofClubs)Food For Thought vs (Nails) Dominant Dragons
ThreeofClubs and his Chaos team, Food for Thought, face one of the most intimidating teams of the cup. The Dominant Dragons are the only Lizardmen team in the tournament and have already established themselves as the team to beat with a perfect 2-0 record. This is due in large part to Head Coach Nails’ exceptional shot-calling and thinking while on the fly. They seem nigh unstoppable at these early stages in the league with six Saurus on the front line and five annoyingly speedy little Skinks in the back field to keep their opponents guessing.
It must be a nightmare to have to prep to face a team like the Dragons, holding 2nd place in the league for most number of blocks made and injuries dealth, so we thought we’d go right to the source and dispatch JJ once more to get the scoop on the ground with none other than Head Coach of Food for Thought, ThreeofClubs. We tune in now, live in a High Destiny!
JJ- “Heya, thanks for coming here, bub. Always a treat to bump shoulders with a professional like you. So ah, first off, how do you feel going into a match against lizardmen with your chaos team? Feel confident?"
ThreeofClubs- "Normally I'm always confident in the ability of my players, but after the last match I think it may take more than a prep talk."
JJ- “Have you been doing anything special to prepare them for the game? Punting halflings? Sacrifices to Khorne?"
ThreeofClubs- “We usually prepare for a match by cooking, reading, and thoughtful discussion. After the humiliation from last game, I'm forcing my team to actually train this time. The MVP was even given to the injured warrior to help motivate the others to work harder."
JJ- “Ahhh an excellent strategy! They'll be motivated to try and avenge him in this coming game no doubt. Last question, because I don't want to take up too much of your time and I got a hot little goblin dame back at the studio waiting for me. Head Coach, Nails has a 2-0 record, he certainly must be doing something right. Have you come up with a strategy to try and be the first to make him suffer a loss?"
ThreeofClubs- “Kill the skinks, see the saurus driven before me, and hear the lamentation of the Kroxigor! Beyond that, well be going for a standard bash and run style of play. Luckily both teams will be going in without block so we will be trying to force as many fights as possible."
JJ- “Wow, there you have it. A direct threat. He’s going to go skink hunting. It's sounds like you've sent a few scouts to spy on his team in action as well! Well, we thank you, Coach! May Nuffle's blessings be upon you and the boys down on the pitch!"
ThreeofClubs- “Thank you, JJ!”
So there we have it, the head coach seems to be taking this match very seriously. We tried to get an answer back from Nails from the Dragons, but we had a hard time getting a translator here on short notice. Perhaps next time we’ll be able to get a first hand interview with our scaly favorites!
The Bottom Line? As ThreeofClubs pointed out, that despite the Dominant Dragon’s success so far, they haven’t trained extensively at blocking, focusing more on injuring foes with their mighty blows. This means if his Chaos players can get into an extended brawl and dish out some lucky hits, they might get the early advantage. Plus if he’s struggling to keep his front line up, it’ll be difficult to protect all his skinks. Head Coach Nails is going to want to be mindful of keeping his big Saurians paired up, pushing down the pitch, and getting some early TDs with his skinks in order to secure the win in case of injuries or accidental knock outs while on the offensive. This is very much anyone’s game to win and it’s going to be a real treat for anyone to watch!
(Shaunuthun) Fish Knights vs (hdawg) Hdawg's Strikers
Game five features The Bretonnian Fish Knights under Head Coach Shaunuthun’s guidance facing off against the new arrivals Hdawg’s Strikers. The Fish Knights’ pre-game fish oil ritual proved unsuccessful last round against the Dragons who scooped up a narrow 1-0 victory. Their slippery nature also wasn’t enough to keep them from having four injuries in the match and three knock outs, the worst of which caused a Lineman, Lil Barnacle, to be removed from the team despite earning himself the award of MVP for the match. Not to mention another injury is going to keep David Seahorse out of this coming game. He had his eye gouged by an aggressive Saurus while the ref wasn’t looking and is going to need an extra week in the infirmary to recover.
By comparison, Hdawg is going to be able to field a full 11 man roster and has already found some star potential in a thrower by the name of Sir Lobbings. When asked how he earned the unusual nick name he replied, “That’s my actual name...I was knighted by the emperor himself.” An awkward situation to be sure, but undeterred we decided to have a quick sit down with head coach Hdawg in an exclusive one on one interview with correspondent Ivanna Blocku. Here’s what followed.
Ivanna Blocku- “Hello, coach and welcome to Channel-H News! It’s a pleasure.”
Hdawg- The pleasure is all mine. You’ve got really comfy sofas in here...
Ivanna Blocku- “Yes, well we want to keep our guests physically comfortable even if our questions sometimes put them on edge.”
Hdawg- “Impossible, Ivanna. You won’t catch me unable to answer your questions so fire away!"
Ivanna Blocku- “Well, first things first, some of us here at Channel-H news are still wondering what happened to the Badland Suns? Is there any truth to the rumors of foul play on the part of assassins working for House Zauvirr?”
Hdawg- “I’m sorry, but I’m not at liberty to discuss any of that. I can neither confirm or deny any such assassination took place.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Hmmm, what a pity...oh well! What about your upcoming game then, against the Fish Knights? This must be an important match for you and your Strikers.”
Hdawg- “I tell my players every match is important, Ivanna, but this one might be the exception. I’m not too worried about the Salmon Knights.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Um, that’s the Fish Knights...”
Hdawg- “Isn’t that what I said? Salmon is a type of fish.”
Ivanna Blocku- “It is, but their name is-”
Hdawg- “Should just call themselves the Pufferfish Knights, or the Swordfish. Either of those are cooler than calling themselves the Salmon Knights. Stupid name, not sure why their Head Coach, Shaunuthun picked it.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Right...well, moving on, what do you feel your strengths are at this point in the league? With all the other 11 teams being more developed than you, what with an extra game, how do you expect to narrow the gap in experience and skill?”
Hdawg- “We don’t need an extra game. We’re just better in every way. This cup is going to be a breeze. These boys might be new, but with my help they can’t screw this up. Just put the ball in the endzone and break all your opponent’s legs. Should be easy.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Well...I definitely expected something else. I was going to ask you about their star Blitzer, Norbert Fish, but now I’m not sure if I should bother with the rest of these questions.”
Hdawg- “Good. I was getting bored anyways. But as for that Norber guy, here, point that camera at me. Yeah, bring it in right up close. Hey! Norbert! Yeah, you, Norber Fish! We’re putting bets on who’s going to put your ass in a full body cast first. Better get ready for a whole world of hurt!”
Ivanna Blocku- “Thank you, I suppose, for coming down to the studio.”
Hdawg- “Should I have my people contact you for my next interview next week?”
Ivanna Blocku- “No, no! We ah, we’ll have our people call your people...Now, back to you up at the desk.”
Wow...well, ah. There are no words. In all my years of sports casting I’ve never seen an interview like that one. I think, yeah let’s go straight to the bottom line.
The Bottom Line? Head Coach Hdawg is a colossal ass. Yup, we said it. Sue us, you self-entitled Empirical prick! We hope you get crushed and die from all the Fish Knight fans throwing rocks and missing the pitch in order to hit your dugout. Norbert Fish and his Fish Knights are going to rally after hearing this interview, I’m sure. Their strategy? To put this asshat of a coach in his place and see to it his smug smile is wiped off his stupid face. With most of your front line having either fending training or wrestling skills put his players face down in the dirt and run your blitzers through to score. Dauntlessly teaming up to take out their Ogre, Tiny Tim while you’re at it. I know I for one will be ringside, tomatoes in hand to fling at the Strikers when they make their way onto the field!
We now go live to an interview with star player, Norbert Fish of the Brettonian Fish Knights with Channel-H News' Goblin on the Ground, JJ Johnson!
JJ- "Hey there, bub! So you're the famous Norbert Fish huh? I expected someone a little taller! Well, either way, thanks for the interview!"
Norbert Fish- "Watch yer tongue greenskin or Guppy will have a new plaything! and you're welcome what ya want to know?"
JJ- "Well, the viewers of Channel-H news are feelin' a little overwhelmed with all the Brettonian teams in this year's first Tin League. What's your take on it? Why so many rival Bretts and are your Knights going to come out as top dog?"
Norbert Fish- "The other guys are just posers. Nathan and me came up with the idea to apply as Brettonians so we could get some of this fancy armour. And of course we will come out on top. We uh may be of to a rough start but thats cause the other teams cheated or something ya know but we will bounce back and if that fails we will take as many of these posers down with us as we can!"
JJ- "Yeah, i hear ya! You had to face some of the tougher bashers in the league, Chaos followed by Lizardmen. With David Seahorse out with a gouged eye, how are you feeling going into a humie on humie match for a change of pace?"
Norbert Fish- "Oh that David always getting hurt he was like this back in the empire too ya know... Man those where the days when men where men and Skinks were dress shoes. Uh anyway yeah going against some humans will be fun i hear they have a really good Thrower. Course everyone knows im the best thrower to ever step on an Iron phoenix pitch."
JJ- "You have had a rather illustrious career, it's true. As a somewhat of a 'dabbler' in both catching and throwing now that you've switched gears from the Empire to Brettonia, what are your thoughts on top Kaiser Seahawks' thrower, Russel Wilson? He already has 5 completions to your one."
Norbert Fish- "Well i heard rumor that he got access to that new flavour of Goaterade and we all know that drink can do wonders for you. But i aint worried if he has more passes than me, just means Im gonna have to work a little harder is all. besides if in a future match his head gets "Accidentally" stomped on. Well those stats wont matter to much will they?"
JJ- "Haha, now that I'd pay gold to see! SQUISH! Just like a ripe watermelon..hehe, well ah, back to the questions! You've heard I'm sure that head Coach Cerumol is claiming to be the best Brettonian team in the Tin Cup and his rival this round, Jordinoboy was quick to say that until he plays a 'real' Brettonian team he wont be letting a claim like that stand. Your thoughts on the comment?"
Norbert Fish- "Like i said earlier their all just posers. And not to get into to much detail but the other day Emile saw both of em going into a bar called: "The Naughty Nurgling" need i say more about those guys?"
JJ- "I'll quote you on that, Fish. Buncha lewd posers, indeed! Yuck. Well that's all the time we have for today but- Wait...This just in! I'm hearing that in an interview with my colleague Channel-H News interviewer Ivannah Blocku, head Coach Hdawg of the Hdawg Strikers just said, and I quote ' We’re putting bets on who’s going to put your ass in a full body cast first. Better get ready for a whole world of hurt!' I'm going to let you respond before we wrap this up."
Norbert Fish- "Hehe all i can say to that is they're in for a brutal Bass kicking. Now get outa here before you get one too ya git."
JJ- "Alright you heard it here first hand, sports fans. This is JJ your goblin on the ground, signing out!"
(gorbag) Gorland Monarchs vs (Coach Jester) The Kaiser's Seahawks
Our last game of round 3 is going to be the Gorland Monarchs, a Bretonnian team, led by Head Coach Gorbag1 against the Kaiser Seahawks. The Kaiser has been training his crew for this match, after their round one win against Lord Pompington and a second win over the Wood Elf Phoenixs in round two. He’s already faced and beaten two elf teams, it’s time to show off his skills against the Brettonian scourge! Gorland Monarchs are coming off a loss, but they’re still at a healthy roster size after their draw against the Fish Knights in round one. They’ll be looking to unseat this Empire team and showcase their exceptional ground game.
The Monarchs must be a bit nervous, having to face one of the top teams so early in the competition, but the Phoenixs proved last round that they can be scored against. Their defense isn’t impregnable! If Gorbag can position his cage well, wrestle a few linemen and blitzers to the ground he may be able to rush his blitzers in for an early goal and put the Kaiser on the back foot. If he’s on the defense then his linemen will prove invaluable against similar tactics as they’ll be able to fend off any advances, but beware! So far the Seahawks have displayed their propensity to throw over run, leading the league with an astounding 7 catches in only two games. If we here at Channel-H news were betting folks (and we are) we’d say to expect him to pass around the ball in the backfield for a while in the hopes of drawing the slower armored Brettonians in and then put his catcher downfield with a few players in support and go for a pass!
What’s this? This just in, Ivanna apparently has the Kaiser in the studio right now for an exclusive interview. We’ll be sure to get some valuable information concerning their upcoming strategies and tactics! Over to you, Ivanna!
Ivanna Blocku- "Ivanna Blocku here, with our first ever exclusive interview with Ze Kaiser! I hope I'm saying that right? It's a pleasure to have you here on Channel-H News!"
Kaiser- “Nein itz is just Kaiser, I am der Kaiser
Ivanna Blocku- "Ah, yes! Well we appreciate you coming all the way from the pitch. I know you are in the middle of coaching another game as we speak, so I'll get right to the questions! You're set to play Gorbag1's Gorland Monarchs in a few days time and we understand you sent some of your scouts to watch their last game against the newly arrived team, Hdawg's Strikers. What do you make of your soon to be Brettonian opponents?"
Kaiser- “Nein again fraulein, I am helping der coach jester vitth his team as a favour , ve go vay back... und as for dis Gorbag I have a lot of respect for dis fellow, he is a good coach und his teams try hard for him,der team is a strong vne, but my boys are stronger, ve shall crush zem as ve crush zem all.”
Ivanna Blocku- "My apologies, it seems I'm woefully misinformed about who actually coaches all of your various teams. Still, a great thing to have the team named in your honor. Next question. While you both have similar sway with the fans, the Monarchs have a cheerleader and an assistant coach on payroll. Your team has neither, is this an oversight and does this worry you at all?”
Kaiser- “Fraulein have you rock in dat head of yours? I coach my team, der Kaisers Seahawks are mine, but at dis moment I am helping Coach Jester vith his team in der immortal cup und... JA JA ve have just scored, sorry fraulein Ich bin happy for der Jester, but back to your question, I am der Kaiser I need no vun to assist me, und as for the dancing vimon, ve do not dance, there is to be no dancing here, der vimon are just a distraction to der team, vimon have no place at der blood bowl field.”
Ivanna Blocku- “I had no idea that vimon, er i mean women could have such a distracting effect on Blood Bowl matches. Well, we here at Channel news don’t pull our punches. We ask the tough questions no one else will, so let’s get to the meat of it. Richard Sherman leads the league with an astounding 7 catches in only 2 games. To put it into perspective, there have been only three other successful catches in the entire Tin Cup. Similarly, Russel Wilson, your team’s thrower, already has 5 completions. What do you say to critics who’d claim Coach Jester has been instructing Wilson to make extra throws to pad your numbers?”
Kaiser- Der jester has nothink to do vith my team, I run dis team, I run it, coach it, dis is the Kaisers team!! Und nothing in the rules zat say zat the team cont throw as many as they like, Russell has amazing tallent und is a gifted quaterback, I can not got into the reasons vhy ve pass the ball, I can not give my game plan avay, but ve has a good strong running game too, throw are risky und ve do nothing to pad stats, ve just do vhat the other can not.”
Ivanna Blocku- So far the Seahawks record is 2-0. If you do win-
Kaiser- Vhen ve vin, don’t you mean, fraulein? Vhat is dis IF?
Ivanna Blocku- Oh, um, of course. WHEN you triumph over the Gorland Monarchs and go to three wins do you feel you’ll be painting a bullseye on your back as the team to beat in this cup?
Kaiser- “Vhat is a bull eye got to do vith it? and I do not paint, can you ask again I not understand.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Ummm, no no, that's fine I think we've got all we needed from that one. Let's see, OH! Yes, here we are. Earlier this week your backup thrower, Tarvaris Jackson, was accused of dopping! This would explain his freakishly strong arm. Do you have anything further to say on the matter and would you be willing to submit him to drug testing?”
Kaiser- “Zat boy is a strong von he has worked hard vith der veights, und he is wery smart he is no dope, und ja he is good boy und not smoke der skaven hash, you can test you vill see wery good boy, strong, tough, he is pure blood and velcome in any master race. those who say dis thing make lies as ve are der team to beat, ve take it vne game at a time but ve are hear to vin it all, my boys vill vin it for their Kaiser.”
Ivanna Blocku- “All right, I’ll give you the last word, Kaiser. Anything you want to say to the other teams out there in Tin Cup that you’ve yet to face?”
Kaiser- “Zhey best train hard, my boys vill come for then und the best pure race vill vin.”
Ivanna Blocku- “Thank you! This has been an exclusive with Channel-H News!”
And there you have it, we have the truth of the matter at last. Kaiser, and not Jester, is the head coach of the Kaiser Seahawks. It seems that this is yet another coach with the confidence to say he’s going to demolish the opposition. Well, they can’t all be right, someone is going to have to lose eventually. Will Gorbag and his Monarchs be able to unseat this Titan of a team and give thm their first loss of the cup or is the Kaiser’s prediction of a 3-0 standing going to come true?
The Bottom Line? Gorbag is facing a cunning adversary. He’s going to need to be on the lookout for baits, reverses, and the ever present threat of the deep pass. If injuries pile up he’ll need to adapt his tactics and not be afraid to take chances to get the edge. From the Kaiser’s point of view he’s going to need to keep a level head and not get overconfident. If he underestimates the scoring potential of this team he’ll be in for a world of hurt. The Monarchs displayed excellent break out tactics in their last game against Hdawg’s strikers and had they not lost a down due to a pitch invasion that easily could have been a second draw for the Bretonnian team. Don’t count these Knightly nobles out yet, this is anyone’s game to win!