Post by parrigan on Jun 2, 2018 0:59:35 GMT
Still on that Friday-Friday schedule for this week. Please post to schedule your match here before Sunday, 3 June, and please play your games by 23.59GMT Friday, 8 June. The earlier we get these matches played, the sooner we can get back on a Wed-Wed schedule.
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Ahh, much better this week, fellas: 6 fresh corpses for the graveyard. One was a mercenary, but Grandfather Bones doesn't care. Any dead player makes him smile...
Death Counter: 14
The matchups:
Division 1
Quantum Quarks (DAE) v Sylvania Scion's (VAM)
Ren Hoek v King Cann
Da Big Red Machine (ORC) v Glass Cannons (NOR)
The Clubbers are another middle of the board team, with plenty of time to move up or down. And look, more elfies. "Elfies are pretty aren't they?" asks berzerker Mr Cod. "I hear their blood has glitter in it. That sounds pretty too. Let's find out!" Glad I'm no elf is all I can say. The Eagles finally got in the win column last week. "Get used to seeing us there," proclaims catcher Galanaias. "We didn't even get to play week 1, and we're probably going to win all of Copper." Nothing like confidence to keep your glittery blood warm.
Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE) v Undead Disco Party (NEC)
Nightwind v Tencoin
Look, elfies. How novel. The Grovers are riding high after their 3rd straight win, and looking to keep their momentum rolling. "We're still the best," states thrower Fyoth in an exceedingly bored voice. "I mean, we're fast, we're tough, and we have a freakin' tree. Who can top that?" Something about pride and falls... but what does the UDP have to say about it? "They'll go down our gullets fast," growls werewolf Caleb. "They might be tough and stringy, but they probably taste good. And trees are perfect for sharpening claws." Seems like a reasonable take. Just going to back away now...
Division 2
Elemental Unity (PRO) v Brighton Rock (DAE)
Wenteros v vonKotze
And now for some hot elf on elf action... These teams carry identical 2-0-1 records, both suffering their first loss last week. The Unity took some serious steps in training last week, though. "Remember when we were the best team around?" asks blitzer Earth. "Well now we're better." Hubris, or truth? "He meant best except for us," retorts Rock blitzer Cubitt. "Obviously. We're the real best, even with Dallow on the mend. I mean, those guys don't even have the sense to wear armor." Armor definitely has its uses...
Swarm Vermin (SKA) v It's a Trap! (LIZ)
Parrigan Niall v ThreeofClubs
Khem Ragz (KHE) v Easy Moders (HIE)
Deano79 v comfort_eagle
And we close with what else? Elves... And khemri, so that's nice at least. Though I don't know that everyone think the dusty fellows are nice. "I don't appreciate the implication," rasps blitz-ra Itkhensatnut. "We are not nice. We are terrifying. We grind the bones of our enemies to dust. We --" He breaks down in dry coughs at that point, but we get the idea. Not nice. "They are not nice," proclaims Moder catcher Prancing. "They are dirty. It's reprehensible. Seriously, do those fellows even know what water is?" Oddly, the Moders weren't interested in talking about how easy Blood Bowl is this week...
Here we go! Hump week! Get to killin'! And I guess scoring is cool too...
-----------------------------------------------------
Ahh, much better this week, fellas: 6 fresh corpses for the graveyard. One was a mercenary, but Grandfather Bones doesn't care. Any dead player makes him smile...
Death Counter: 14
The matchups:
Division 1
Quantum Quarks (DAE) v Sylvania Scion's (VAM)
Ren Hoek v King Cann
Anybody sick of elfies yet? I hope not - there's lots more elfy business to come. Leading off the elfy business slate are the Quarks, who are middle of the board, facing the cellar-dwelling vamps. But really, aren't vamps always hanging out in cellars and coffins and such? "Pfft, coffins are nothing," says Quark blitzer Max Planck. "Try growing up in the Underword." Fair enough, but the Scions seem unimpressed. "Ha! We will show them true darkness," boasts Konrad the vampire. I think his eyes glow. Glad I won't be on that pitch...
bubs v DocOz
If the season ended today, both these teams would be rumbling into the playoffs. But there's a long way to go yet, and lots of smashing to come. The Machine are training up their blitzers to be true smashers. "Yes, we'z smashas," says Petrov. "We smash good." Look at those big green muscles. Most impressive! "Meh, seen bigger," dismisses Cannon lineman Kormakvaror. "You want impressive, look at my new stomping boots." Ooh, spikey! I bet the Cannons hope those boots will keep the reaper away this week too.
Baby Seal Clubbers (NOR) v Eflheim Eagles (PRO)
Ravers v TectorThe Clubbers are another middle of the board team, with plenty of time to move up or down. And look, more elfies. "Elfies are pretty aren't they?" asks berzerker Mr Cod. "I hear their blood has glitter in it. That sounds pretty too. Let's find out!" Glad I'm no elf is all I can say. The Eagles finally got in the win column last week. "Get used to seeing us there," proclaims catcher Galanaias. "We didn't even get to play week 1, and we're probably going to win all of Copper." Nothing like confidence to keep your glittery blood warm.
Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE) v Undead Disco Party (NEC)
Nightwind v Tencoin
Look, elfies. How novel. The Grovers are riding high after their 3rd straight win, and looking to keep their momentum rolling. "We're still the best," states thrower Fyoth in an exceedingly bored voice. "I mean, we're fast, we're tough, and we have a freakin' tree. Who can top that?" Something about pride and falls... but what does the UDP have to say about it? "They'll go down our gullets fast," growls werewolf Caleb. "They might be tough and stringy, but they probably taste good. And trees are perfect for sharpening claws." Seems like a reasonable take. Just going to back away now...
Division 2
Elemental Unity (PRO) v Brighton Rock (DAE)
Wenteros v vonKotze
And now for some hot elf on elf action... These teams carry identical 2-0-1 records, both suffering their first loss last week. The Unity took some serious steps in training last week, though. "Remember when we were the best team around?" asks blitzer Earth. "Well now we're better." Hubris, or truth? "He meant best except for us," retorts Rock blitzer Cubitt. "Obviously. We're the real best, even with Dallow on the mend. I mean, those guys don't even have the sense to wear armor." Armor definitely has its uses...
The Simpires (VAM) v The Beach Boyz III (NOR)
Nails v Cryptic Keeper
No elves! It's a miracle! Although - vamps and bikinis are all over this season too... The Simpires are coming off their first victory and looking to make move in Division 2. We looked for a vamp to interview, but they were off sucking blood or some such, so we tracked down one of their thralls. "Disco Stu does not advertise," was all he said. Not sure what that means, but hey, whatever. On the other side, the Boyz are still looking for their first taste of success. We asked lineman Donatello. "If you don't go away, Shredder will eat you." Done and done.
Parrigan Niall v ThreeofClubs
Here's what we've been waiting for! Two contenders facing off, and neither of them elves. Joy of joys! The Vermin lost two rats to the graveyard last week, but came away with convincing win. "Yes, our brothers died," deadpans gutter runner Sneaks McTavish. "But we have so many brothers. So many. The swarm is all. All is the swarm." Still as creepy as the first time we heard it. "They're fassst," allows saurus Trap Door. "But they're ssso sssmall and sssquissshy. We're fassst too. And much bigger." Good points, and who can doubt a team chasing a perfect record?
Deano79 v comfort_eagle
And we close with what else? Elves... And khemri, so that's nice at least. Though I don't know that everyone think the dusty fellows are nice. "I don't appreciate the implication," rasps blitz-ra Itkhensatnut. "We are not nice. We are terrifying. We grind the bones of our enemies to dust. We --" He breaks down in dry coughs at that point, but we get the idea. Not nice. "They are not nice," proclaims Moder catcher Prancing. "They are dirty. It's reprehensible. Seriously, do those fellows even know what water is?" Oddly, the Moders weren't interested in talking about how easy Blood Bowl is this week...
Here we go! Hump week! Get to killin'! And I guess scoring is cool too...