Post by parrigan on Jun 8, 2018 15:32:51 GMT
OK kids, sticking with Friday-Friday until further notice. Please post to schedule your match here before Sunday, 10 June, and please play your games by 23.59GMT Friday, 15 June. Since this makes scheduling weekend matches a bit last minute, I'll try to be flexible on extending the deadline if there's good reason. This week won't roll until late tonight after the final match is played. That said... get to scheduling!
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What's this nonsense?!! Only 2 deaths?!! Grandfather Bones thinks you're all pathetic. He told me so. If it weren't for some worthless rat team contributing a level 3 gutter to the graveyard, Old Bones would probably be visiting some coaches this week... We'll see if the final Week 4 match can help appease him... Update: a dead tree in the final match made Old Bones smile.
Death Counter: 17
The matchups:
Division 1
Finally! A bashfest! Why do these suddenly seem so rare? UDP has had a rough go of it - it just doesn't seem to be a good season to rise from the grave. "We will be-" begins Frank the golem before his lower jaw falls off. Perhaps we'll find out what he was planning to say next week if reattaches it. "I tink he was gunna say 'big losers,'" laughs Machine blitzer Petrov. "Hahaha. Dey will be big losers is what he was gunna say. Hahahahaha." And that, my friends, may very well be your future league commissioner speaking.
Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE) v Baby Seal Clubbers (NOR)
Nightwind v Ravers
Division 2
The Simpires (VAM) v Swarm Vermin (SKA)
Nails v Parrigan Niall
And finally two teams in the middle of the pack looking to define their fortunes. The Simpires are coming off a tough loss and still hoping to get their vamps rolling. "We're fine," explains Maggie with a meaningful - and somewhat mermerizing - stare. "We win all our matches..." Yes, they win all their matches... The Swarm, meanwhile, has made more contributions to the graveyard than any other team this season. "It's to be expected," dismisses Samhain Steamroller. "They're all replaceable. Except the Professor and me. That's why we have armor." Hard to argue with that reasoning.
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What's this nonsense?!! Only 2 deaths?!! Grandfather Bones thinks you're all pathetic. He told me so. If it weren't for some worthless rat team contributing a level 3 gutter to the graveyard, Old Bones would probably be visiting some coaches this week... We'll see if the final Week 4 match can help appease him... Update: a dead tree in the final match made Old Bones smile.
Death Counter: 17
The matchups:
Division 1
Glass Cannons (NOR) v Quantum Quarks (DAE)
DocOz v Ren Hoek
Leading off the slate are a pair of contenders currently tied for 2nd place in the division. "Ya know how you can tell we're gonna win it all?" rumbles Cannon thrower Ofeigrgautr. "Ain't nobody died last week. That's how." Seems like a low bar, but ok. Who are we to question these bikinis? "Oh that's rich!" laughs Quark lineman Heisenberg. "Do you know how you can tell we're gonna win? Because we're actually good at Blood Bowl." Ooh, burn! He also muttered something about "blue crystal" but we're not sure what that means...
Elfheim Eagles (PRO) v Sylvania Scion's (VAM)
Tector v King Cann
And once again, the elf parade continues... The Eagles are looking to turn early season troubles into a tale of triumph. After starting the season in a hole, they've won their last two and are climbing the board. "Go ahead and predict our victory," says catcher Aelaias. "Even an idiot can see it." Hmm... does he mean us? Surely not. Anyway, their opponents are looking for a break in their season-long struggles. "What do you expect?" complains Mannfred Von Carstein. "The league keeps making us play in daylight. This reeks of collusion!" Interesting take.
Undead Disco Party (NEC) v Da Big Red Machine (ORC)
Tencoin v bubs Finally! A bashfest! Why do these suddenly seem so rare? UDP has had a rough go of it - it just doesn't seem to be a good season to rise from the grave. "We will be-" begins Frank the golem before his lower jaw falls off. Perhaps we'll find out what he was planning to say next week if reattaches it. "I tink he was gunna say 'big losers,'" laughs Machine blitzer Petrov. "Hahaha. Dey will be big losers is what he was gunna say. Hahahahaha." And that, my friends, may very well be your future league commissioner speaking.
Guardian's of the GroveIP (WOE) v Baby Seal Clubbers (NOR)
Nightwind v Ravers
On the surface this one looks like a mismatch. In one corner we're looking at one of the two teams with a perfect record thus far (more elves, of course), and in other corner some bearded bikinis who've been beat all to hell. But wait, what's this? The woodies lost their tree last week? And another player out? "Meh," says wardancer Malfurion dismissively. "You really think we need those guys?" Seems he doens't think so... "You think those are injuries? Hah!" laughs Clubber berzerker Mr. Cod. "Look at our infirmary. We have an open casting call for replacement players. Wanna join up?" Um, no thanks.
Division 2
It's a Trap! (LIZ) v Brighton Rock (DAE)
ThreeofClubs v vonKotze
Here we have another convincing division leader and... elves. Always elves. The Traps are looking awfully tough to beat with all those crazy skinks and saurs, but those salaries are already spiraling out of control after 4 matches. 1400k TV! Whew! "We're worth it," preens Wrong Way the skink. "I mean, jussst look at usss." We sure hope so. They better get used to seeing lots of wizards in the opposing teams' boxes. "We might hire a wizard, I don't know," says Rock blitzer Pinkie. "I hardly think we'll need him. I mean lizards can barely even think. It's just been dumb luck so far." We're not so sure...
The Beach Boyz III (NOR) v Easy Moders (HIE)
Cryptic Keeper v comfort_eagle
And here we have a true matchup of cellar dwellers. The best part of the season for the Boyz so far is that the Moders are still below them. "And it's going to stay that way," barks Raphael the berzerker. "Those three losses were flukes, you know. Three flukes." Whatever you need to tell yourself... The best part of the Moders' season has been... um... that it's more than halfway over? We tried to line someone up to interview, but coach had them in a super secret session practicing... whatever is is 0-0-4 teams practice.
Elemental Unity (PRO) v Khem Ragz (KHE)
Wenteros v Deano79Now here's an exciting bout between contenders. The epitome of passing teams vs. the epitome of not-passing teams. Technically khemri use throwers, but... you know... The Unity are looking like for their title shot, and they're pretty confident about their chances. "You want to see some magic, some passing, some miracles on the pitch?" teases catcher Lightning. "We got all of it. Heck, we might even teach those dusties how to pass." How generous. "They teach us nothing," grates thro-ra Senru. "We teach them how to be dust. Then we win." Sounds like a good one shaping up.
Nails v Parrigan Niall
And finally two teams in the middle of the pack looking to define their fortunes. The Simpires are coming off a tough loss and still hoping to get their vamps rolling. "We're fine," explains Maggie with a meaningful - and somewhat mermerizing - stare. "We win all our matches..." Yes, they win all their matches... The Swarm, meanwhile, has made more contributions to the graveyard than any other team this season. "It's to be expected," dismisses Samhain Steamroller. "They're all replaceable. Except the Professor and me. That's why we have armor." Hard to argue with that reasoning.
The playoff picture still isn't terribly clear. Remember, top 4 from each division qualify, so don't give up the fight! And for the sake of Old Bones, kill something!!!!