White Handz vs Neorromanticos Match Report
Dec 24, 2014 23:20:27 GMT
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Post by Hudd on Dec 24, 2014 23:20:27 GMT
What a game we have for you tonight, sports fans!
We have the defending champions of the Iron League, the Neorromanticos - led by their terrible werewolf, Wollack Mellenablanca. Wollack is just a single step away from entering the Hall Of Fame. Think he looks nervous ahead of the game tonight, Jim?
Not a bit of it, Bob. This old wolf has survived 71 games, has 8 kills and 54 casualties. He will have seen all this before.
Up against them are the champions of Bronze, The White Handz, and what a cavalcade of stars we have here! Ugrsh is the team’s leader with 44 casualties in only 34 games.
That must be the highest strike rate in the league, Jim. He even has 3 interceptions! Is there anything this orc can’t do? He also looks especially mad at losing out on the most-hated-player award to Mellenablanca… It's showtime!
The Handz win the toss and will receive. The crowd are going bananas! We just can’t wait…
And boy what a start! The Black Orc pack smash down a zombie, while Ugrsh dives in low on a Flesh Golem, and smashes his knee up badly! The necromancer at the sidelines holds up his hands – I don’t think there is anything he can do for either of them, Bob!
Is this game over already, Jim? The Neorromanticos have been absolutely levelled, there is already no one left standing. Ugrsh smashes Wollack, but can only push him back – not often you see Ugrsh miss, Bob, but he is soon felled by the Black Orcs.
Gobbo incoming! He smashes in on Wollack on the ground, ouch! He won’t get up too quickly after that. Are the Neorromanticos staying on the ground? How many are really hurt, Jim?
Hard to tell, Bob. I am sure there must be a little bit of play-acting going on…
The orcs are really giving the still prone Wollack a pasting, while Coach Hirumazeo complains to the referees – but I have to say, they seem more interested in their card game and - is that a bottle of 1972 Cote’D’Araby they have there?
It’s an excellent vintage, Jim – very popular at the moment. I think I saw Coach Hudd with a bottle of that pre-game… Coach Hirumazeo gives up, and makes the signal to his players to stay down.
Back to the game, Jim and this is painful to watch. Yet beautiful at the same time... Handz star thrower, Gluva, has the ball by the endzone, signing autographs for his many female admirers, while the rest of the team are smashing up the old wolf, Mellenablanca. This is unbelievable, how much punishment can he take? He has been gored, punched, kicked, stretched, compressed, flattened – and he has still not been hauled off the pitch by the medics! Unbelieveable! He has been fouled repeatedly by the biggest, baddest team in the league almost all half! Now he is being bent over by the goblins and… Hey! Referee! There is no room in the game for that kind of thing - there are kids watching!
Gluva reluctantly takes the ball into the end-zone just before the half-time gong, 1-0 Handz, and Mellenablanca, is somehow still alive. In fact, after spitting out a couple of teeth, looks raring to go!
There is just a little time left before the half time whistle – what do you think, Jim? Is this game over? Wait! What’s that you say? It’s 1-1 and I didn’t even see it!
Vanedesolla the Ghoul shoots off a pass to the speedy Werewolf, Zarrapastroso and he is downfield and in the endzone for the score! The Handz look at one another angrily, the Neorramanticos celebrate wildly.
They don’t look so hurt any more, Jim, eh?
Second half, and the Neorramanticos get the ball. Whoah! Drama already, Jim! Would you believe it! After all the punishment taken in the first half – the humiliation and the endless beating... Mellenablanca falls over and somehow smashes his own rib cage in! Again, the hapless necromancer can’t help, and I think the big bad wolf won't even be back next week!
Them pitches sure are rough, eh, Bob?
The Handz take full advantage, picking up casualty after casualty. This game has got to be all over, now. The necros have hardly anyone left on the pitch. Vanedesolla grabs the ball deep in his own half, Ugrsh threatening, while the old, half-crippled veteran wight, Thorgrim, blitzes free and deep downfield. Desperate times! The ghoul tries a long bomb pass – it's caught! The crowd roar!
The orcs are taken by surprise, but there is no danger. An orc blitzer smashes the old wight down, but the ball lands just out of reach. A couple more orcs bear down on the ball – but WOW! Did you see that, Bob? Play of the season!
Thorgrim - playing with a broken neck, blitzes one orc out of the way, makes a dodge, picks up the ball, dodges away again, and then goes for it into the endzone! Touchdown Neorramanticos! How on earth?
Beats me, Bob!
Coach Hudd is looking over his shoulder at the fans, and calls for his troll bodyguard to stand a bit closer.
Still loads of time left and it’s 11 orcs vs 6 necromantics. Coach Hudd draws a line across his throat and the orcs surge forward, understanding their new instruction perfectly.
Isn’t that what they always do though, Bob?
Well… I guess so. Gluva, the thrower is deep, picks up the ball from the kick-off… Nope! FUMBLE! Pity there are no necros nearby, waiting to pounce, but valuable minutes are wasted.
What will coach Hudd do? Drive the ball home and settle for the 2-2 draw? Nope, it’s a quick pass to the orc star blitzer, Binch, who scampers in for a score.
While Gluva played fumble in the backfield, the orcs fouled and blocked a few more necromantics off the field there Jim. The referees look fast asleep, if you ask me, Bob. It sure must be strong stuff, that 1972 vintage!
So – just a little time left, the crowd are going mental, the score is 2-2. The White Handz have a full team, while the Neorramanticos have patched up 5 players.
Is one of them the team necromancer, Bob? I am sure that is a new zombie…
The ball is kicked off short, to the weak side of the Neorramanticos formation…
I think both sides look a bit weak, Jim…
FUMBLE! With one eye on Ugrsh, Vanedesolla drops the ball, right in front of the howling line of orc blitzers and black orcs. I can’t watch, Jim, this is gonna be messy! MASH! Not a Neorramanticos left on his feet, again.
Time is running out, Gluvva gets hold of the ball and is sprinting up the field to score! Coach Hudd is jumping up and down on the sideline – it’s not going to be fast enough. Gluva tries a hand off to a blitzer ahead of him…
FUMBLE!
It’s all over. The game ends with a bit of a punch-up between the orcs, arguing over whose fault it was.
What a great match! I especially liked all the fouling in the first half – great viewing! It has really got my Xmas spirit flowing!
Should the Handz have won that one though, Bob?
I think so, Jim! But it was a great match between two great teams! Everyone is really hoping for a re-match in the playoffs…
Even Coach Hirumazeo?
Good point, Jim! Not quite everyone…
We have the defending champions of the Iron League, the Neorromanticos - led by their terrible werewolf, Wollack Mellenablanca. Wollack is just a single step away from entering the Hall Of Fame. Think he looks nervous ahead of the game tonight, Jim?
Not a bit of it, Bob. This old wolf has survived 71 games, has 8 kills and 54 casualties. He will have seen all this before.
Up against them are the champions of Bronze, The White Handz, and what a cavalcade of stars we have here! Ugrsh is the team’s leader with 44 casualties in only 34 games.
That must be the highest strike rate in the league, Jim. He even has 3 interceptions! Is there anything this orc can’t do? He also looks especially mad at losing out on the most-hated-player award to Mellenablanca… It's showtime!
The Handz win the toss and will receive. The crowd are going bananas! We just can’t wait…
And boy what a start! The Black Orc pack smash down a zombie, while Ugrsh dives in low on a Flesh Golem, and smashes his knee up badly! The necromancer at the sidelines holds up his hands – I don’t think there is anything he can do for either of them, Bob!
Is this game over already, Jim? The Neorromanticos have been absolutely levelled, there is already no one left standing. Ugrsh smashes Wollack, but can only push him back – not often you see Ugrsh miss, Bob, but he is soon felled by the Black Orcs.
Gobbo incoming! He smashes in on Wollack on the ground, ouch! He won’t get up too quickly after that. Are the Neorromanticos staying on the ground? How many are really hurt, Jim?
Hard to tell, Bob. I am sure there must be a little bit of play-acting going on…
The orcs are really giving the still prone Wollack a pasting, while Coach Hirumazeo complains to the referees – but I have to say, they seem more interested in their card game and - is that a bottle of 1972 Cote’D’Araby they have there?
It’s an excellent vintage, Jim – very popular at the moment. I think I saw Coach Hudd with a bottle of that pre-game… Coach Hirumazeo gives up, and makes the signal to his players to stay down.
Back to the game, Jim and this is painful to watch. Yet beautiful at the same time... Handz star thrower, Gluva, has the ball by the endzone, signing autographs for his many female admirers, while the rest of the team are smashing up the old wolf, Mellenablanca. This is unbelievable, how much punishment can he take? He has been gored, punched, kicked, stretched, compressed, flattened – and he has still not been hauled off the pitch by the medics! Unbelieveable! He has been fouled repeatedly by the biggest, baddest team in the league almost all half! Now he is being bent over by the goblins and… Hey! Referee! There is no room in the game for that kind of thing - there are kids watching!
Gluva reluctantly takes the ball into the end-zone just before the half-time gong, 1-0 Handz, and Mellenablanca, is somehow still alive. In fact, after spitting out a couple of teeth, looks raring to go!
There is just a little time left before the half time whistle – what do you think, Jim? Is this game over? Wait! What’s that you say? It’s 1-1 and I didn’t even see it!
Vanedesolla the Ghoul shoots off a pass to the speedy Werewolf, Zarrapastroso and he is downfield and in the endzone for the score! The Handz look at one another angrily, the Neorramanticos celebrate wildly.
They don’t look so hurt any more, Jim, eh?
Second half, and the Neorramanticos get the ball. Whoah! Drama already, Jim! Would you believe it! After all the punishment taken in the first half – the humiliation and the endless beating... Mellenablanca falls over and somehow smashes his own rib cage in! Again, the hapless necromancer can’t help, and I think the big bad wolf won't even be back next week!
Them pitches sure are rough, eh, Bob?
The Handz take full advantage, picking up casualty after casualty. This game has got to be all over, now. The necros have hardly anyone left on the pitch. Vanedesolla grabs the ball deep in his own half, Ugrsh threatening, while the old, half-crippled veteran wight, Thorgrim, blitzes free and deep downfield. Desperate times! The ghoul tries a long bomb pass – it's caught! The crowd roar!
The orcs are taken by surprise, but there is no danger. An orc blitzer smashes the old wight down, but the ball lands just out of reach. A couple more orcs bear down on the ball – but WOW! Did you see that, Bob? Play of the season!
Thorgrim - playing with a broken neck, blitzes one orc out of the way, makes a dodge, picks up the ball, dodges away again, and then goes for it into the endzone! Touchdown Neorramanticos! How on earth?
Beats me, Bob!
Coach Hudd is looking over his shoulder at the fans, and calls for his troll bodyguard to stand a bit closer.
Still loads of time left and it’s 11 orcs vs 6 necromantics. Coach Hudd draws a line across his throat and the orcs surge forward, understanding their new instruction perfectly.
Isn’t that what they always do though, Bob?
Well… I guess so. Gluva, the thrower is deep, picks up the ball from the kick-off… Nope! FUMBLE! Pity there are no necros nearby, waiting to pounce, but valuable minutes are wasted.
What will coach Hudd do? Drive the ball home and settle for the 2-2 draw? Nope, it’s a quick pass to the orc star blitzer, Binch, who scampers in for a score.
While Gluva played fumble in the backfield, the orcs fouled and blocked a few more necromantics off the field there Jim. The referees look fast asleep, if you ask me, Bob. It sure must be strong stuff, that 1972 vintage!
So – just a little time left, the crowd are going mental, the score is 2-2. The White Handz have a full team, while the Neorramanticos have patched up 5 players.
Is one of them the team necromancer, Bob? I am sure that is a new zombie…
The ball is kicked off short, to the weak side of the Neorramanticos formation…
I think both sides look a bit weak, Jim…
FUMBLE! With one eye on Ugrsh, Vanedesolla drops the ball, right in front of the howling line of orc blitzers and black orcs. I can’t watch, Jim, this is gonna be messy! MASH! Not a Neorramanticos left on his feet, again.
Time is running out, Gluvva gets hold of the ball and is sprinting up the field to score! Coach Hudd is jumping up and down on the sideline – it’s not going to be fast enough. Gluva tries a hand off to a blitzer ahead of him…
FUMBLE!
It’s all over. The game ends with a bit of a punch-up between the orcs, arguing over whose fault it was.
What a great match! I especially liked all the fouling in the first half – great viewing! It has really got my Xmas spirit flowing!
Should the Handz have won that one though, Bob?
I think so, Jim! But it was a great match between two great teams! Everyone is really hoping for a re-match in the playoffs…
Even Coach Hirumazeo?
Good point, Jim! Not quite everyone…